Thursday Thirteen: What do I need?

I love this. It's a meme within a meme. Over at Firefly Mom's site...she did this meme where you google your name followed by the word "needs." So...I googled Katrina needs. And let me tell you, there are still a million and one sites out there so that you can help victims of hurricane Katrina. So...moving right along...I went back to what you all know me by anyway...and googled "Kat needs" and this is what I discovered:

1. Kat needs a rest. Well, isn't that the truth. Especially since today is the first day I have to get up with an alarm clock since I don't know when. And I have to work registration for PTA at the open house today. Rest will be calling my name this afternoon. Cause google says I need it.

2. Kat needs YOU! I do. You are my self-esteem. Leave me some comment luv.

3. Kat needs Cookies. Oh, man. I started my carb free "plan" this week. And I am waiting for the cookies to stop calling my name.

4. Kat needs a hershey kiss. I think that I am the only one on the planet that started a diet after the high school reunion.

5. Kat needs help. Who read my files?

6. Kat needs dirty laundry. Hmmm...what kind of laundry? Certainly not the dirty laundry that goes into a washing machine. Cause I am a princess. And don't do laundry. Now, if we are talking gossip...as the lovely Clairee says in Steel Magnolias: "if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!"

7. Kat needs your body to ink for world record. I think not. Isn't tattooing a craft?

8. Kat needs to not be tempted. Who told google I was dieting?

9. Kat needs some constructive criticism. Nah. Me and Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way.

10. Kat needs to purr. Honey...I think this one has your name all over it.

11. Kat needs a break on trademark registration. Huh? Perhaps I should start before I take a break.

12. Kat needs a new catchphrase. If you have gmail, you can have a catchphrase under your name. That everyone else on gmail can read. My current one is: "silence is golden. Duct tape is silver." I'm open to a new phrase. Suggestions?

13. Kat needs subtitles. For you guys, no. For my husband. Most likely. He doesn't seem to speak female. And my non-linear explanations. Pointing. And general thought processes don't compute.

So...what does google say that you 'need?'

Thursday Thirteen: NO, and that's FINAL

When the girls and I got back from our trip to San Antonio last month...my mother casually mentioned that her cat, Todd, seemed lonely. The girls heard this innocent comment from the basement of their friend's house 5 miles away. They ran all the way home. Faster than lightning. And wanted to know when they were going to get a kitten to be a friend to Todd. Before we could blink. Or pick our jaws up from the floor. The girls had these kittens named. Knew where they might sleep at night. And figured out who would take care of them when we go on vacation next.

Ummm...no one said we were getting a kitten. So the girls argued that:

1. We'll scoop the litter box. And I replied: Are you nuts? We are not getting kittens.

2. We'll feed the kitten every day. And I replied: No, absolutely not.

3. We'll make sure that the kitten has water. And I replied: When pigs fly.

4. We'll be responsible. And I replied: Not in a month of Sundays.

5. We'll do whatever you ask us. And I replied: When chicken have teeth.

6. We'll clean our rooms without you asking us. And I replied: When hell freezes over.

7. We really will take care of the kitten. And I replied: When the sun rises in the West.

8. We'll be sweet. And not argue. And I replied: When frogs grow hair.

9. But mom...you won't have to do anything! And I replied: When it snows in summer.

10. Really, we'll take care of it. And I replied: Not a chance.

11. You won't even know it's here. And I replied: Only if it's the end of the world - "Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!"

12. We'll give you foot massages on demand if you let us get a kitten. And I replied: On the first of never.

13. PLEASE! And I replied: NO, and that's FINAL!

Thursday Thirteen: Which Smutty Book should I pick now?

As we wind down our week of tributes to Rhea of Word Tangle...let's chat about something that Rhea and I have in common. Our love of smutty books. So, here is another post dedicated to her. And today, Rhea...you have to share the dedication. Because today's post is also dedicated to my Aunt Elizabeth. Who sent this in an email to my mom:

A very good friend of mine here in town was looking for a good book list so I directed her to Trina's blog...and then Trina decides to share her smutty side!

Oh, do I ever have a smutty side. As I noted in this post:

It’s painfully obvious that I love to read. I read all the time. I like just about everything. But, I must admit that I am addicted to smutty books. And not your momma’s romance novels…not the Sweet Valley High of your tween years…not the bodice rippers of the 80’s…but the “modern” romance novel. The ones with an edge. The ones that you need to read with a fan and a big glass of cold water. Ice water. The ones that you read and then later your husband might be heard to say “what the hell got into you? How did you learn to do that? And when can we do it again?”

Did you know that when you list your interests on your profile…you can click on those terms and see other people with similar interests? Apparently, I am the only one on blogger that admits to liking smutty books. There are 8 of us with an affinity for trashy books. But…if you were to put sex as one of your interests…you know just for scientific research purposes… there are over 18,000 people who say that is one of their interests. Just sayin’.

And that is what this post is about. Sort of. IF you are here looking for other kinds of books - you can check out my 888 list on the left side bar. You can read this post about books that influenced me the most. Or this one about how to discuss books with your child (and please note that the author commented on my post!). There is also this one about Young Adult books.

My first romance book was "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon. It was recommended by a friend at my book club. I didn't know it was a romance...and actually the book store where I purchased it, had it in the fiction section. It is a great book - historical fiction with a little time travel thrown in - over 800 pages - riveting story - and a tall red-headed Scotsman. So...when I finished it, I had to find the sequel (there are now 6 books in the story with 2 more to come). Now, I looked at a different bookstore for the sequel, and I could not find it on the shelves. When I went to ask about it...they sent me to the Romance section. What?! I dont' read romance! All I could think of was Barbara Cartland bodice rippers. Well...let me tell you, Romance has come a long way since the '80's.

So, if you'd like to dip your toes in the River Smut...may I suggest these authors:

1. The entire "Outlander" series by Diana Gabaldon.

2. Anything by Susan Elizabeth Phillips - but especially her series about the Chicago Stars Football team - the first book in that series is "It Had to be You." Through this author, I discovered that I needed a comic touch to go hand in hand with my romance.

3. Erin McCarthy. She has a Vegas Vampire series - first one is "High Stakes;" other favorites: "Heiress for Hire," "Pregnancy Test," and "Houston, We have a Problem." She also writes young adult books under the name Erin Lynn

4. Julia Quinn's books were my first foray into Regency Romance novels. She has such a fun style - and I would suggest starting with her Bridgerton series (there's 8 of them) - "The Duke and I." (I even got my mom hooked on this series - even though she swears all Romance is drivel.)

5. Julie Garwood. I'm not a fan of her contemporary stories - but her Medieval Scotland books are great: "The Bride," "The Prize," and "Saving Grace" are favorites.

6. Lisa Kleypas is probably one of the best writers in this genre. The first books of hers that I read were the Wallflower series (start with "Secrets of a Summer Night") - but a very hot one is "Dreaming of You."

7. Jacki D'alessandro is an author that is often hit or miss for me. But, you must read "Red Roses mean Love." It is a laugh out loud romp full of crazy secondary characters, a free spirited heroine and an obtuse, yet endearing hero.

8. Rachel Gibson has really fun and quirky characters - snappy dialogue - and of course great steamy romance. I really like the series she just completed about four writer friends - start with "Sex, Lies, and Online Dating."

9. Susan Donovan is another author that makes me laugh. Her books are smart, sexy, and sizzling. Suggestions: "He loves Lucy," "Take a Chance on Me," and "Knock Me off my Feet."

10. JR Ward is a more recent find. It's difficult to categorize her work. Is it urban fantasy or romance? Maybe a little of both. Her series is about vampires - but don't let that dissuade you. I *love* the mythology she has in place for her series. That vamps and humans are different species. You cannot be converted to a vampire with a bite. Vampires eat real food, not just blood. There are rich vampires. Civilian vampires. And warriors. The warriors are the heroes of her books. And delectable they are. The series starts with "Dark Lover" and Ward has just released the 6th - "Lover Enshrined." My favorite is the third in the series "Lover Awakened."

11. Suzanne Enoch is another Regency author that I love with her fast paced stories and strong wit. My favorite book of hers is the third in the "Lessons in Love" series (The Rake, London's perfect scoundrel, and England's perfect Hero.) She also has a great contemporary romantic suspense series centering around a cat burglar as the heroine - "Flirting with Danger" is the first.

12. Jennifer Cruise - I haven't liked some of her more recent titles - but you must read "Welcome to Temptation" which is hilarious - and "Bet Me" which is one of my top five romance books ever.

13. Maya Banks is the queen of the menage. And plot is overrated. Check out: "Colters' Woman" (Rhea...this one is on it's way to you), "Overheard," "Brazen," and "For her Pleasure."

Thursday Thirteen: Independence Day

1996. It was the year I got married. It was the year they found the Unabomber. Bill Clinton began his second term of office. Atlanta held the Centennial Olympics. And the great movie "Independence Day" was released. If I am ever channel surfing and find this movie...I have to stop and watch. Have to.

So...as I was trying to figure out what to do today...I ran across this fabulous site listing all the things that could be learned from the movie "Independence Day." So, I offer many, many thanks to Dean Kanipe for allowing me to plagarize borrow some items from his work of genius:

1. Aliens like to blow up significant land marks first. Apparently the best way to destroy a city is to position your "Death Ray" over the most recognizable building.

2. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you are travelling with a dog and a small child. The Law of Averages says you'll survive the Death Ray.

3. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you are NOT a raspy-voiced homosexual cable TV executive. The Law of Averages says you'll get waxxed by the Death Ray.

4. NASA sends out rejection letters, just like Harvard.

5. A fleet of RVs can travel across the Nevada Test Site in line-abreast formation without the need of roads, thanks to the imense expanses of Salt Flats and the lack of impeding mountains.

6. Area 51 has a big chain-link fence around it, and the guards at the gate wear black combat fatigues with white metal helmets in 120 degree heat.

7. Standard operating procedure for the Air Force is to cluster all vehicles, aircraft, and ground personel on a 200 meter section of tarmac in the middle of an Alien Invasion.

8. Any bonehead with rudimentary aviation experience can be taught to pilot an F-18 in 5 hours.

9. Any bonehead with F-18 flight experience can learn to pilot an Alien fighter in 5 minutes.

10. If you're President and your administration is faltering and an Alien Invasion occurs, relocate the V.P., the Cabinet, and the Joint Chiefs to one centralized location so that the Aliens can take them all out with one shot. You can always blame the problems of the past on them after victory is achieved.

11. In 10 hours, one man with a Macintosh Laptop can code a virus in C++ that will take down a completely alien computer system.

12. Even though the Mac isn't compatible with most other Earthly operating systems, it can interface with an alien computer.

13. Alien network security is nonexistant.

Copyright © 1996, Dean Kanipe, 626 West Club Blvd, Durham, NC 27701. May be reproduced on the internet for personal use only. Any reproduction in print or in any fixed or for-profit medium is not allowed without written permission. Whenever this document is copied, this copyright statement must remain attached.

Thursday Thirteen: Oh, the Irony

My favorite kind of humor is found in the ironic. So, imagine my delight when I read this week that Atlanta was selected to be the site for the new National Health museum. Atlanta? A Health museum? Oh, the irony.

So…why is this ironic? Let me count the ways:

1. Guess where the museum will be located? It will be downtown. Right in the hub of activity by Centennial Olympic Park and the Aquarium. And what else is right there? Why the new Health museum will be right next door to the Coke Museum. You know, just in case you need to taste a variety of high fructose corn syrup from all over the world.

2. Oh, and who is funding this museum? It’s our friend Coca-Cola…providing 100 million dollars in seed money. Do you think that the museum will declare Coke healthy?

3. What is one of the healthiest and easiest activities for you to do? Walking (Well, unless you are like me and have heel spurs, then it’s not so fun). And do people in Atlanta walk? Ummm…no. This is a city of cars. Where the average household has more than two cars. Where sidewalks are not really for people to walk, but are referred to by the Department of Transportation as “vehicle recovery zones.” You know, just in case you might have to dodge someone going slowly…or a dropped ladder in the road…you might need to swerve onto that sidewalk. Pedestrians beware! Maybe the new museum will have moving sidewalks so that Atlantans will not have to do the unthinkable: walk.

4. And what does all that driving do for us? Atlanta, according to Forbes Magazine, ranks number one in the nation for the worst traffic …and quite high for road rage. That is how we increase our heart rate here in metro Atlanta…we don’t need to walk or exercise.

5. And even the state government doesn’t advocate walking or exercise – because they know that traffic will solve all your problems. So, what did they do? Why in April of 2000, the Georgia Legislature passed House Bill 1187, which removed the Physical Education requirement from Georgia's public school systems.

6. And if you insist that driving in traffic will not meet your exercise/heart rate needs, you surely don’t want to be outside. Atlanta is ranked as the worst cities for allergy and asthma sufferers. We have that trifecta of pollen, mold and pollution.

7. So all this traffic leads to yet another health issue for Atlanta – smog. Over half the days this month have smog alerts in the “red zone.” Which means that it is not healthy to breathe the outside air. For everyone…not just those asthma sufferers.

8. One of the explanations given for locating the National Health museum here in Atlanta is that Atlanta is also home to the CDC. The same CDC that made headlines this week for containing bioterror bacteria with duct tape. Yes, duct tape. Is that part of the OSHA and CDC protocol?

9. Speaking of diseases…Georgia is home of the West Nile virus and the syphilis capitol. Many people saw the documentary and Frontline special on the Atlanta suburb of Conyers – and know that they are infamous for a syphilis epidemic among teens. And even today, Atlanta is ranked number two in the nation for syphilis cases. (And a total side note – one of my college courses for my major was Physical Anthropology. We learned a lot about how you can tell gender from looking at bones; some hints that bones can give about race; and clear indicators of age. Many of the bones that we had were from people that had syphilis. You can tell because the bones have small holes that look like someone drove a nail all the way through them. Can you imagine the pain of having all those holes in your bones?)

10. Do you think the Health Museum might have a food court? With true Southern specialties of sweet tea, fried chicken, and gravy? Atlanta is home to the largest drive-in restaurant in the world – The Varsity – with its yummy, greasy, artery clogging goodness. And the best onion rings in the world.

11. New York might have the Empire State building; Seattle has the Space Needle; Chicago has the Sears Tower – and what does Atlanta have? The Big Chicken, of course.

12. No list of health ironies would be complete without the mention of a creation by Mulligan’s restaurant in Decatur: The Luther Burger. It is a half pound bacon cheese burger – with a Krispy Krème donut as the bun.

13. And that same eatery created this other chest clutching concoction: The Hamdog. Which is a hot dog, wrapped with ground beef – then deep fried – and placed in a hoagie roll – then covered with chili, onions, a fried egg, and two handfuls of French fries. In the south, it’s a rule that you criticize with love and affection. So, Atlanta, bless its heart, is getting a health museum. Ya’ll come visit!

Thursday Thirteen: Young Adult Novels

What was your favorite novel when you were a kid? Was there one that you read over and over again? One that sparked your imagination…and made you become the main character? A novel so good that made you say “I want to be a writer when I grow up.”

I remember reading “Harriet the Spy” and then needing to keep a journal of my observations. I remember reading all the books by Ruth Chew – and so desperately wanting something - anything - magical to happen to me. I remember reading Paula Danziger and Judy Blume and feeling a tad closer to whatever normal might be. I tried my hand at writing – but I never had the focus to finish anything that I started.

But that love of reading has always been a part of who I am. I have been an avid reader for as long as I can remember. I used to be able to read a book a day. Until I started blogging. And I will read just about anything. I read the newspaper. I’ll pick up a magazine. I love novels – all kinds – as long as they hold my interest. If I don’t have something to read, I’ll pick up whatever is closest – which just might be a box of cereal – or sometimes, unfortunately, my husband’s “Car and Driver” magazine.

One of my favorite genres is Young Adult literature. And I must thank JK Rowling for making this niche what it is today. She allowed the powers that be to see that novels for children do not have to be dumbed down. To realize that kids could handle difficult concepts and big words. And allowed all of us to see that even though Harry Potter lives in a fantasy world of witches, wizards, and magical creatures…at its heart…it’s about real things – like bullies, friends, teachers, fitting in, and love.

And thanks to JK Rowling…so many authors have found their niche within the world of young adult novels. Including some of my favorite “adult” writers. So…if this is a place you haven’t tried because you didn’t realize that this genre would include you…let me tell you that a good book is a good book…no matter the “intended” audience. To get your feet wet…here are some suggestions:


1. With stories of princesses and princesses in training, it might be easy to dismiss Shannon Hale’s books as “fluff.” BUT…Hale’s take on these somewhat tired themes is exquisite, lyrical, and eloquent. Titles to look for: “The Goose Girl;” “Enna Burning;” “River Secrets;” “Princess Academy” – which also won the Newberry Honor award; and “Book of a Thousand Days.”

2. “The Mysterious Benedict Society” by Trenton Lee Stewart is a great book filled with mysteries, puzzles, and clever twists. And I love the messages of this book – in that it shows the power and control of the media in what we “believe” – and the value of an education in being able to “see” what is real. There is also a sequel that was just released in May: “The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey.”

3. All of Cornelia Funke's work, including: “Inkheart;” “Inkspell” and the finale to be released in October of this year “Inkdeath;” “Dragon Rider;” “Igraine the Brave;” “When Santa Fell to Earth;” and “The Thief Lord.”

4. I am also a huge fan of Nancy Farmer – who tackles some big issues including cloning, drug lords, kidnapping, and Viking Legends. Some favorites: “House of the Scorpion;” “The Ear, The Eye, and the Arm;” and “The Sea of Trolls.”

5. “Holes” by Louis Sachar is a modern classic. What I love about this book is that it does not hand you all the information and mystery on a platter. Sachar allows the story to build. All the information he give is pertinent. But you just don’t know how until the very end of the story.

6. The entire “Series of Unfortunate Events” – all 13 of them – by Lemony Snicket. Many parents think this series is too dark and gothic for their children – but I found it hilarious. I just love the way Daniel Handler (aka Snicket) writes. He has “editorial” side notes about much of the action – and I *love* the way he defines words throughout the series. These are a must read…or even better…a must listen…as the audio books are narrated to great comic effect by Tim Curry.

7. Carl Hiaasen is one of my favorite authors. He writes a great mystery – usually with an ecological bent – and always with a sick twist. You have to know that at his heart, he is a twelve year old boy…and thus his jump into this genre makes so much sense. His two books “Flush” and “Hoot” follow the same patterns of outlandish situations and characters (one of my favorites is a buffoon adult named Chuck Muckle) but where the kids can see and solve what the grown-ups cannot.

8. My two favorite books by Lois Lowry could not be more different. “Number the Stars” is about a Danish girl sheltering her best friend from the Nazis during World War II. And then there is “The Giver” about a 12 year old boy who becomes disillusioned with his utopian society. Both are Newberry Medal winners. Both are impossible to put down – and impossible to forget.

9. “City of Ember” by Jeanne DuPrau is another of the post-apocalyptic novels that I am endlessly drawn to. DuPrau has a fresh voice and a new take on this theme. I wasn’t as impressed with its sequel “People of Sparks.”

10. I have never been able to read Tolkien. I’ve tried. But I was bored. So, when I heard about “The Naming” by Alison Croggan, I was a bit skeptical. All reviews state that it’s following Tolkien tradition. Well, I’m so glad I decided to give this book a chance! In the Tolkien tradition, it is the tale of a humble person being sent on a quest by a wise being for what turns out to be a fight against good and evil. Croggan has created a rich and alluring land described in lush prose…with an amazing female protagonist. In what is intended to be a quartet, also check out “The Riddle;” and the soon to be released “The Crow.”

11. I love author Kate DiCamillo. She writes such enchanting tales of friendship, loneliness and perseverance against all odds. My favorites: “The Tale of Despereaux;” “Because of Winn Dixie;” and “The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane.”

12. My absolute favorite young adult novel is “Summerland” by Michael Chabon. Chabon is the Pulitzer Prize winning author of “The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay.” “Summerland” has it all. There’s baseball. Tall Tales. Norse mythology. Adventure. Mystery. And Faith. Just a little faith. Faith that is realized when you can create a hairline crack between that wall between worlds. That wall between you and God. In that place where miracles can and do occur.

13. And then…what would be a list of young adult novels without mentioning a mommy favorite. A tale of romance. A romance so intriguing and addictive, it is likened to crack. Yep…The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. This is such a book for the senses. From the beauty of the characters – to the feel of the cold and stoniness of Edward’s body – the scent of the rain drenched landscape – and of course the scent of blood – to the ability of Edward to hear thoughts except those of the girl he loves – this evocative tale is one you can truly sink your teeth into. (Sorry, I just could not resist. Fangs for your forgiveness. Sorry. Really.)

Thursday Thirteen: I will be LOST tonight

You know, my Thursday Thirteens take a lot of effort. A lot. Why am I unable to make a simple list? Like the 13 things I need to do to get the girls ready for camp. Or a list of the thirteen things I have no intention of doing next week because I will be childless. Or the thirteen things I am going to do that I never get to do because my kids are at camp. Or I could get down and deep and review the last thirteen books I read for the 888 challenge. Or a list of thirteen reasons why I hate the book “Little Women.”

But I cannot think of these things. Because today is Thursday, May 29, 2008. Tonight is the finale of LOST. You can look over at the top of my left sidebar and see how many hours and minutes until it starts. And then after tonight…I have to wait until February. 2000 freakin’ 9 until my story picks up. How will I ever survive? I might need meds. Or a hobby. Or meds.

So…here I am. A hopin’ and a prayin’ that some of my multitudinous questions might be answered tonight. Like:

1. Who is Richard Alpert? And why does he not age?
2. What was up with the Dalai Lama like test Richard Alpert gave to Locke?
3. How can Christian Shepherd be a voice for Jacob? Is Jacob just “borrowing” his body? And who is Jacob anyway?
4. Is Claire dead? Was she dead back when Sawyer found her after the house exploded?
5. Will Desmond ever find Penny? Tonight? Will they find a happily ever after?
6. What does Charlie keep telling Hurley in his visits at the mental institution?
7. Why does the Oceanic Six have to keep what happened secret?
8. How are they going to move that island? Will moving the island explain the polar bears in Tunisia and the Black Rock being in the middle of the island? Or even the huge statue with the four toes?
9. How and why did Abaddon recruit Naomi, Daniel, Frank, Miles, and Charlotte? And what do they know about the island? And how?
10. Why can Ben and Widmore not kill each other? What is their connection to one another?
11. Who is in that coffin? Is it Michael?
12. Whose side is Juliet actually on? Is Ben really a “good guy?”
13. Will island time be explained? Or the time travel? Or how Ben lands in the middle of the desert? Or how he has so many passports? Or money?

Okay…I suppose that’s more than 13 questions. I’ve got hundreds of them. I’d just like to leave tonight’s episode with more questions answered than asked. Please. Or send meds.

Thursday thirteen: Happy Birthday Michael!

After I did a Thursday Thirteen for Madalyn's birthday...I thought it would be fun to do one for my hubby. But...since they take so long...wouldn't it just be better if he did it himself? And I could give myself a small vacation from blogging. So...I gave him an assignment...to write a list of 13 things about himself...and he had over a month to complete it. And then, he actually did it! He turned his assignment into me on Tuesday. He wrote it as if I wrote it. Referring to himself in the third person. And I thought I might tweak it. You know, add editorial comments, insert my strange sense of humor and observation into it. But, nahhh. I'll let you all enjoy his list in all of its logical, rational, geeky glory:

1. He’s a Geek Well, he’s not a total geek (some of other numbers on this list contradict a “total geek”), but a lot of the elements are there. Being an engineer, he’s well versed in math and science. He’s good with computers and most electronics. He likes a lot of the ‘geek movies’ (Monty Python, Brazil, Mel Brooks movies, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Pi, Blade Runner, and other Sci-Fi movies) and ‘geek TV shows’ (The Simpsons, South Park, Mythbusters, Doctor Who…), ‘geek music’ (see #2), and will periodically quote any of the aforementioned media. The start-up sound for his PC at work is the sound of the Tardis taking off (you may be a geek if you recognize this sound).

2. Music No, Michael does not play any instruments… but he does love to listen to music. He owns over 1000 CD’s and has a paid subscription to Napster, which allows him to listen to his choice of over 6 million songs on the PC… in the car… on his MP3 player… while at work… He listens to a wide variety of music, including modern rock, classic rock, classical, new age, (classic) jazz, new age, alt.-country, and some forms of music many people would characterize as simply “noise”. A portion of what he listens to substantiate #1 on the list (Decemberists, Arcade Fire, They Might be Giants, Rush…). Michael, not surprisingly, is also full of useless music trivia knowledge.

3. Beer: July 1st, 2004. This was a happy day in Michael’s life, as this is the date Georgia changed it’s archaic beer laws to permit the sale of “high gravity” beer. Michael loves beer – GOOD beer. He is an admitted ‘beer-geek’. He doesn’t drink for the alcohol, he just loves a great tasting beer. We go to a local bar (smoke-free as per Georgia law) for Trivia contest every week, which Michael really enjoys since they also happen to have one of the largest beer selections in the Southeast (over 140 draft beer varieties and at least as many bottled varieties). At this bar—and at a another bar—he is a member of each bar’s Passport Club, whereupon the bar keeps track of each different variety of beer the patron drinks. At our local bar, Michael has already surpassed the number needed to receive his “personalized 20 oz. dimpled mug” and is on his way to a “personalized goblet” for Tier II.

At Christmas, we each make out a Christmas List to make the gift buying easier. 90% of Michael’s list every year consists of CD titles and specific beer varieties. None of the mass-produced domestic beers for Michael (who will often choose soft drinks over Budweiser, Miller, or anything ‘light’), only microbrews and imports are good enough for this beer geek. Coffee oatmeal stout, India pale ale, imperial pilsner, cask-conditioned unfiltered ale, Belgian tripel ale, and barley wine (yes, this is a beer), are just a handful of the beer varieties that Michael enjoys. Here is a picture of one of his favorite shirts – it is the “Beeriodic Table”. It has the structure of the Periodic Table of the Elements with symbols for each beer style, and is organized by the characteristics of each style. Something a beer lover and a geek (see #1) would love:

4. Going to Concerts: This is separate from #2, because Michael insists that live music is a totally different experience from listening to a CD. We live near Atlanta, which has a large number of music venues from the small bars with stages that hold just a few hundred patrons, to various sized amphitheaters, to the medium and large sized arenas. With all the music varieties that Michael listens to (see #2), it’s easy to find artists playing live in Atlanta. He enjoys the small shows with $10 ticket prices (for bands most people have never heard of) as much as many of the major acts who charge $60+ for the cheap seats. And he enjoys going to concerts as much now as he ever has. With some of the shows he’s gone to, he may be one of the oldest people in the audience – but this doesn’t faze him in the least.

5. Food: Michael loves to eat. Since puberty, he has had the metabolism of a 300 lb+ football player, but the physique of an average person. Dieters hate to see the amount of food he eats at some meals for his size. He seeks quality as much as he does quantity when eating. While he is not a picky eater, he does really prefer the “really good stuff”. For instance, Michael likes potato chips. He doesn’t get excited over plain Lays chips or ‘normal’ flavors like barbecue or sour cream & onion. But he loves his gourmet kettle-cooked chips in flavors like “Spicy Thai,” “Salt & Fresh Ground Pepper,” “Tuscan Three Cheese,” “Island Jerk,” and “Death Valley Chipotle”. And Michael likes hot sauce, but he’s not satisfied with just plain Tabasco sauce. He insists on having at least 5 or 6 hot sauce varieties at home, since apparently some foods are paired well with a cayenne and vinegar based sauce, while others might require a Vidalia Onion-Peach hot sauce. Any kind of chocolate is good right? He’ll eat M&M’s or Hershey’s milk chocolate like most people but not get very excited over it. But if dark chocolate by Scharffenberger or Belgian dark chocolate truffles are nearby, you can’t keep him away.

Ask him the question “Where do you want to go out to eat?” and you’d better be prepared to choose among a list of restaurants in the area with eclectic cuisine selections, most of which he hasn’t even tried yet. His favorite is Five Seasons in Atlanta, which, as a brew-pub, not only serves excellent food, but also brews some of the best beer in the state. Still, he’s not a picky eater… just don’t ever suggest eating at McDonald’s to him.

6. Smart shopper: Michael considers himself a very smart shopper and doesn’t like to pay more than he has to for anything. This reluctance to spend money helps to keep #3 - #5 in check rather nicely. He insists on doing the bulk of the grocery shopping to ensure he gets the most out of the coupons he clips weekly — and most grocery shops entail stops at two grocery stores (practically across the street from each other) to ensure he gets the good sale prices from each store. And some items he will only buy in bulk in Sam’s.

And this shopping acumen isn’t limited to groceries. He feels the need to research any purchase where he thinks he can get a better product for a better price. When we needed a new cordless phone with multiple handsets, for example, I couldn’t just go down to the store and buy one… he had to research reviews on Amazon.com, epinions.com and others to find the best phone in our price range. We rarely end up with the cheapest product; but between coupons, discounts, or just shopping around he makes sure we usually get the best price for what we buy.

7. Thrill seeker: Michael loves things that are fast, high, scary, etc. He loved going skydiving while in college (though is not allowed to do so now). He loves roller coasters and other thrill rides (the bigger, higher, faster, and more intense the better). Some people insist his brain is “wired backwards”, as skydiving, thrill rides, and fast things in general have always had a calming effect on him. Michael relishes the opportunity to get his daughters involved in his thrill seeking. When Katie was tall enough to ride the biggest coasters at Six Flags, he talked her into riding many of them with him (until she discovered that she doesn’t like “loops”). On our trips to Disney, he was able to convince the girls to ride the “intense version” of Mission Space at EPCOT with him (this is the spacecraft motion-simulator ride that is built as part of a giant centrifuge). And while in Belize on our cruise, he and the girls went zip-lining across the jungle while over 200 feet above the jungle floor.

8. Environmentally conscious: Spending a lot of time outdoors growing up, including many years as a Boy Scout (where he attained the rank of Eagle Scout), has given Michael an appreciation of nature in general. He will recycle or re-use just about anything that can be recycled… even to the point of stopping coworkers before they throw an aluminum can in the trash to remind them there is a recycling bin for that. (and yes, he does recycle all those beer bottles from #3) He usually doesn’t miss the opportunity for conservation of energy, water, or other resources.

9. Offbeat humor: In addition some of the examples in #1, Michael enjoys TV shows where the humor isn’t exactly mainstream. Some of his favorite shows are critically acclaimed, but lack(ed) viewers (Arrested Development, Reaper), while others are (were) just “different” (Newhart, My Name is Earl, The Office). The same goes for movies, where a small sample of his most liked include Harold & Maude, Adaptation (& most other Charlie Kaufman movies), any Christopher Guest mockumentary, Fargo (& most Coen brothers comedies), Thank You for Smoking, and Grosse Pointe Blank. Website favorites include The Onion and Stuff White People Like. His favorite comedian of all time is Bill Hicks. And this offbeat humor extends beyond just watching TV’s and movies. For period of time, one of his hobbies was baiting Nigerian scammers (see this link if you’re unfamiliar with this pastime). Where he works, this humor has confused his coworkers at times. For example: if an employee attends a meeting talking like a pirate when no one else in the meeting has ever heard of Talk Like a Pirate Day it comes across as quite strange. Ditto for Talk like a Physicist Day this past March 14th (that’s 3.14). Yes, Michael actually suggested in an informal meeting on 3/14 that mysterious production problems in his plant were caused by “tiny, vibrating one-dimensional strings."

10. Sports fan: This may seem to contradict #1 on this list, but Michael is a sports fan. Every year, he follows NCAA basketball (especially “March Madness”), NCAA football (especially his alma mater Georgia Tech), Major League baseball – where the Atlanta Braves are his team (win or lose), and various other sports. He also follows World Cup Soccer every 4 years. With few exceptions, he attends at least one Braves game every season. The exception came in 1994 - 95. He and several friends had a baseball road-trip planned in 1994 to see 7 MLB games in 6 days in Chicago (the first game against the Braves), St. Louis, and Cincinnati. Ten days before leaving, baseball went on strike. Over the years, he has attended college and/or pro sporting events for baseball, football, basketball, soccer (indoor & outdoor), hockey (major and minor league), and volleyball.
11. Active: Michael has always found a way to stay physically active over the years. He has had a membership at Bally’s gym since 1994 and still works out a couple of days each week. He plays softball for our church team and his work team… and even tried to play for the local bar team (the one mentioned in #3) He has plans to start playing soccer soon too.

12. Health conscious: Recently, Michael found out that he has inherited his father’s cholesterol problem. Though the level is not terribly high, he does have to watch what he eats more closely. He was already physically active (#11) and ate healthy food most of the time, but now has to bring the healthy diet up a notch. Luckily for him, moderate alcohol consumption and moderate consumption of dark chocolate are GOOD for the heart and health in general. And his favorite brand of potato chips (see #5) is trans-fat free and made with oils that are high in mono-unsaturated fat, so he can eat potato chips that are actually heart-healthy. With no need for weight loss, he can concentrate on foods that are good for the heart. Sometimes this gets difficult when his wife if fond of making desserts like this.

13. Just a big kid: With the sports mentioned in #11, it may seem like Michael is a competitive athlete. This is not at all the case. He just likes to go outside and play. Many times Katie and Madalyn say they’re happy to have a Dad who is “like a 12-year old kid”. Although he is a fast runner for his age—and a kid a heart— Michael sometimes needs reminders that at his age he can get hurt much more easily than he used to… and that healing from injuries also takes much longer now. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

Thursday Thirteen: Things I would get for homeschooling if money was not an object

It's time again for the Thursday Thirteen. I am a rebel two weeks in a row in not going with the theme. Maybe I should go with the theme as my own versions take me forever to write! Two weeks ago, I wrote about places I have been. Then last week, I wrote about places in the USA that I wanted to go. I actually have an international list that I am working on...but I think my brain needs some time off from thinking about traveling or I'm likely to whip out the credit card and book a trip to some far flung place. I'm not sure why I thought this topic would be a curative for that travel bug...because it's just gotten me drooling over other things. I need to think of something for next week that won't want to make me spend money!

So...if money was not an object...if I had a wealthy uncle to finance my dreams for homeschooling...this is what I would want to do/get:


1. Telescope

2. Art classes and more art classes. Because I cannot teach art classes. I actually looked at this art series called “teaching the masters” where I was supposed to teach painting. Hah! Katie already takes two classes a week (Latin and folk dancing)…but it would be great to put her in some others as well – more language classes, gymnastics, maybe another instrument…

3. Well…we’ve clearly established my travel bug. So, I would fund our national and international field trips. We are about to study ancient history – how cool would it be to go and see the Pyramids, the Parthenon, and the Pantheon?

4. Oh…and how about more local field trips. We could get memberships to all the museums rather than just one (or none) a year like we do now. We could go to traveling exhibits (we cannot wait for the King Tut exhibit that will be here in November)…plays, musicals, concerts…High School Musical is coming in August…that’s educational, right?

5. Books, books, books. More reference books. I love the images in the DK Eyewitness books. Audio books. And I’ve always had a dream about having a library – a room with book cases on all the walls….

6. I wouldn’t feel guilty about buying curriculum that I am not sure about. I could buy it and pass it on if it wasn’t a match for us. In July, at our local homeschool convention, I am buying the IEW writing program…which will set us back about $400. I cannot buy it without talking to someone about it. We could get as many of the Rosetta Stone language programs as we wanted…and see which one sticks. Or at least figure out how to say “where’s the bathroom?” in all the countries we will now be able to visit.

7. Another laptop. And we could even get a Hello Kitty one with Swarovski crystals.

8. More science manipulatives. We could get models of cells, skeletons, robotics kits…

9. LOTS and lots of Teaching company dvds.

10. Summer enrichment programs…like Duke’s TIP camp. Or Space Camp.

11. I was running out of “big dreams” so I asked my husband. And he said an electron microscope. We already have an optical one. And a small hand held one. But he wants the big guns. The electron microscope. Like one that even your average high school wouldn’t even have. (Why don’t we just get a planetarium while we are at it?) And my additional thought…it would be cool to have an attachment so that we could have the image projected up on our television or computer. And…how about an attachment so that we could take photos of what we are seeing. How cool would that be?!

12. Still thinking about what we need – so I ask the kids. Madalyn says that she wants a robot cat that will do her homework. Ummm…not exactly what I was thinking. Katie starts thinking of things to get for herself…for when she finishes her school work…like more time on her DS…more games. Again…not what I was thinking. And then she wants to know if I am really going to list a robot cat. And then she wants to know if she can make up things – like a trip into space…

13. I suppose if we are going to make wild and impossible dreams…then I’d love for Michael to quit his job and homeschool the kids…while I sit at the computer eating bon bons and blogging all day…

Thursday Thirteen: See the USA

After last week's Thursday Thirteen about places I have visited…I started out thinking about all the places I have never been. And then…going to other blogs with their lists…I got bitten by the travel bug. Not that it takes much with me. I would love to see more of my own country. Here is my list of 13 places that I would like to visit:

1. New York – Shocking that I have never been there. I see it on TV and think I could live there. Until I watch “Househunters” on HGTV and realize the prices. The average is about $1100/square foot. Do the math on your own house! But I really want to visit. See a play on Broadway…Statue of Liberty…the twin towers footprint…Central Park…Empire State Building…MOMA…the Guggenheim...Grand Central Station…David Letterman…I think I am going to need a lot of time! Oh…and lest I forget…money! 2. Oregon – Let’s head to the opposite coast…and what seems to be the complete opposite of the New York mindset. Here, I just want the see the beauty that I have seen in photos…I want to see it for real. And take my own photos. The coast line is just gorgeous. We don’t have those rocky beaches here on the East Coast. And I want to see Crater Lake…Columbia River Gorge…Mt. Hood…Sea Lion Caves. And on another note…I have to go to Powell’s books. I think I could spend an entire day there.3. Arizona – My list started out with just the Grand Canyon. And as I did more research…there is sooo much to see in Arizona. I wonder how many miles I might log seeing all that I want to see in this one state: Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, Petrified Forest, the meteor crater, Tombstone and the OK corral, London Bridge (yes, London Bridge!), Montezuma Castle National Monument (12th century Native American cliff dwellings), Monument valley, and how about driving along Route 66?

4. Hawaii – Not only is this state incredibly beautiful, but ya know they film LOST there. Must make a pilgrimage at some point. A cruise might be a great way to take it all in. Except that a friend of mine did one for her 25th wedding anniversary and said that she and her husband were the youngest on the ship. The rest were between 70 and dead (they had three fatalities during their cruise! I wonder if that is normal…)Anyway…I want to see: Kilauea Volcano, take a helicopter tour, beaches and go snorkeling, Waimea Canyon, USS Arizona Memorial and Pearl Harbor, Haleakala national park. Beaches, waterfalls, and Volcanoes, oh my!

5. Key West – How could you not want to visit a place that does not take itself too seriously. Did you know that Key West had a tongue-in-cheek secession from the United States? On April 23, 1982 (in protest of inconvenient border patrols), Key West declared its independence from the US, declared themselves the Conch Republic, quickly surrendered 1 minute later, and then applied for one billion dollars in federal aid. Then there was the great invasion of 1995 – where the US army was doing training practice in Key West – simulating the invasion of a foreign country. Except the US forgot to inform Key West of their exercise. The army apologized…and even submitted to a “surrender” ceremony a few days later. I’d like to see: Dry Tortugas national Park, lots of snorkeling, Duval Street, Hemingway House, take an Old Town Trolley, Mel Fisher museum…

6. Seattle – Back to the Pacific Northwest. Again…the beauty of this area…the landscape is just so different from my neck of the woods. With my beer snob of a husband, one of the things on our to-do list would be to visit some breweries and beer pubs. And then on my list to see and do: Mount St. Helen’s, Pike Place market, the Space needle, Olympic National Park, Puget Sound Ferry, Seattle aquarium…7. San Francisco – I’ve never been to California at all. And there is so much I’d like to see and do. But for some reason, for this list…I just decided to name the top spot on my list. You are welcome to convince me otherwise. But I want to see San Francisco. I want to ride in a cable car. I want to see Lombard Street. I want walk through Chinatown. I want to do some time on the “rock” and see Alcatraz. I want to be a complete tourist and see Fisherman’s wharf, Pier 39, and Ghirardelli square. And I want to see, drive, or maybe even walk across the marvel that is the Golden Gate Bridge. 8. Memphis – This pick might seem strange. But I have this bizarre desire to go to Graceland. I don’t know why. I’m not a huge Elvis fan. But I want to see it. It’s kitsch at its finest. And if I was in Memphis, I would also need to go to the Peabody hotel to see the ducks.9. Las Vegas –I have this bizarre desire to renew my vows in Vegas. With Elvis officiating. I am not making my case that I am not an Elvis fan. I’m not. Really. Imagine the blog entries I could write about that. It would be hilarious. To me. Which is what matters, right? I’m not sure that I could do much of the casinos –with the smoke – and after all these trips, my obvious lack of cash. But I do want to see the casinos on the strip. I want to ride in a Gondola at the Venetian. See the fountains at the Bellagio. Visit the flaming volcano at the Mirage (and see the White Tigers while I’m there). Go to the Stratosphere. Maybe even go to the Liberace museum. I love the kitsch! And then one day, I’d have to go out to Hoover Dam.

10. Williamsburg, Virginia. When I was in high school, I liked history…but American history seemed incredibly dull. I even minored in history in college…but I never took an American history class. Because it’s boring. But then, this year with Katie’s homeschooling, a lot of our history focused on the United States. And you know what? It’s interesting. Really interesting. It’s so much more than places and dates. And who said what. I think that on our second cycle through history we need to take an extended field trip to colonial Williamsburg. We can see re-enactments, watch blacksmiths, saddlemakers, wigmakers, silversmiths; ride in a horse-drawn carriage, talk to the inn keeper and hear the patriots whisper about the coming revolution. I want to see history come alive for my children.

11. Yellowstone National Park – When I think of the natural beauty that is our country…this is the first place that I think of. To be able to see bears, wolves, elk, herds of buffalo – in their natural habitat – it would be a dream come true. And then there is Old Faithful, the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone, Grand Prismatic Spring, and Devil’s Tower. And did you know that you can do a safari in Yellowstone? Sign me up!12. Cruise to Alaska – With a cruise to Alaska, I think it would be hard to decide which was better – the destination or the journey. I want to see Glacier Bay, Prince William Sound, whales, Kenai Fjords, Denali national park…

13. Utah—After seeing some the simple pictures on Cellista’s blog…with those mountains in the background…it’s a place I’d love to see. There’s Arches national park, Bryce canyon, Zion national park, Rainbow bridge, monument valley, Great Salt Lake… So, am I the only one that has never been? Where do YOU want to go? What places have you been that I need to add to my list?