Monday, October 26, 2009

The further misadventures of Hooligan kitties

I think I should write a book series. Maybe it will be a children's book. On the misadventures of sister kitties. Perhaps it will be a sweet compelling tale of humor and triumph ala "Marley and Me." More than likely. If I were to write a book. It would be of a self-help type. Explaining why you don't really want a cat. And especially why you don't want a pair of kitties.

I could start with the fact that you could end up with clever cats who turn on the faucets because fresh water is much better than the swill in the bowl.

Or clever might not be the word for kitties who get trapped behind bookcases.

I could also mention the possibility of ending up with chewers. Who could destroy your blinds.

Be attracted to the smell of crocs...which demand to be eaten.

Or really the scent of any foam. Which leads to things like intestinal blockages.

One would not want to end up with clever cats who like to chew. Because they might open your bathroom drawers. And feel the need to eat all the hairtyes in said drawer. Yielding yet another high vet bill.

I could also wax rhapsodic about those chewing kitties. Who insist on chewing. Climbing. And sleeping in your Christmas tree. Forcing you to put it away. And changing the face of your celebration forevah and evah.

And then. I could mention this day. Which started with an email. And a query. "Is there something wrong with your phone? I tried to call you this morning. It rang once and then nothing." After much investigation. Calling my own house. Having other people call. Calling the phone company. But being perplexed because the internet works just fine. We discovered the problem.

Every. Single. Phone cord. Has been chewed on. Every. Single. One. When your phone cords have been used for lunch. The phones no longer work. I am quotable. Just like Confucius. I am quite sure I have the makings of a best seller. If only the kitties would stop prying the keys off of the keyboard.

So. If you are trying to reach me. Don't call.

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21 comments:

~Michelle~ said...

My hubby is on this 3rd pair of iphone earbud/headset thing. Because despite the fact that we normally make an effort to keep ours out of our bedroom, we are sometimes nice and let them lounge on the bed. Being nice leads to chewed earbuds.

Cord manufacturers must put kitty crack in that rubber...

texcindy said...

so did they plot to and succeed at doing all the phone chords simultaneously? Diabolical!

Cairo Typ0 said...

Your cats eat phone cords and pry the keys off your keyboard? The answer is obvious: they have a desire to communicate with the world at large! Their own blog or network show perhaps? :p

Elena said...

Oh those kitties! LOL!! And I learned a new word today..."rasphodic".

elena said...

Okay, with the new spelling it changes so many things! LOL! I do know rhapsodic, but I thought rasphodic was something like waxing phylisophical or something. HA!

Jen said...

its either time for cordless phones or to remove all their teeth. I am think that cordless phones would be easier. ;)

Susie said...

Looks like there are some kitties who won't be getting their nip for a while:-)

Angie's Spot said...

Oh my, you have the WORST.KITTIES.EVER. It's official! You've lasted way longer than I ever would have. I think I would've quit after the first major surgery.

Kat said...

Yep. Evil pussy cats. And Jen - they are cordless phones. They have been chewing on the power source. I can't believe they didn't get electrocuted...

Wendy Hawksley said...

Oh, kitty cats! When my Shiva was tiny, he got into the worst trouble. And, to this day... Oh, yes, he is still the main instigator. LOL

Hm, any cordless phones around the house?

Heather said...

Oh, bad, bad kitties! It's like on Christmas Vacation when the cat chews on the Christmas lights. Be careful what you chew, kitties!!!!

Heather said...

Stop telling people this stuff! I have four kitties that I must find homes for (Isabel has convinced me to keep one).

Maybe you need one more, a kitty with a mother instinct, to keep your two in line. Might work...wanna give it a try?

:)

angie said...

Beware of kitties. Check. :)

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

You know... in all the horror movies, the villan always cuts the phone line before they strike.

I'm just sayin'

Brandy said...

Thank goodness your cell phone doesn't have a cord...oh wait I guess it does for charging. Hide it quickly!

Tam said...

OK I am just dying laughing! I have four strange kitties that live here but I think YOUR KITTIES get the AWARD! Can we CO Write a book on KITTIES? I do have the story of our Cat tinkling on my Chinese Food and a few other wacky misadventures.

Kat this was seriously funny and I needed FUNNY today!

Denise said...

That's one way to not have to deal with telemarketers. Your kitties are geniuses!!

Becky P said...

You totally need to write a book about your kitty misadventures. Geesh...bad kitties.

Firefly mom said...

Snort! You are too funny!

And you make me thankful that I have a dog :)

Firefly mom said...
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Firefly mom said...
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