Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Wordy Wednesday: A State of Confusion

I have always had cats. When I was about 8 we got our first one - TJ. Well...I think it could more accurately be described, that he chose us. Our next, Bootsie, was a rescue. And then she slept in our nativity set over Christmas. And shortly after had her own immaculate conception - and we now had Bootsie and her daughter, Tiggy. Then we adopted two farm cats - Ivan and Cindy. Next, Buddy, a stray, adopted my dad. When Michael and I moved in together we rescued Frannie and Zoe. Then a feral cat had five kittens under our deck. That we took in. And got them shots. And fixed. And really high vet bills for Tar-jay, Sweet pea, Baby, Katie (guess who named this one!), and Todd.

13 cats have been a part of my life. Todd the hermit cat still lives under my mom's bed. And then at the end of July, we brought two more cats hooligans - Jessie and Ella - into our lives. You'd think that after 13 cats - all of them being with us since they were very young - we would know what to expect. But these two. Well...I just think they are crazy. And confused.

Sometimes I think that they were circus performers in a previous life.

Or perhaps a spider.

Guerillas. In a war against napkins.

A roach. As they flatten themselves to micro inches to fit under furniture.

Stealth fighters.

Potted plants.

A Roman Emperor.

Or a very tired Mommy Blabber.

Sometimes, they act more like magpies. As they steal shiny bits. Like cell phones. Watches. Earrings. Shoes with buckles. Or cups from my bathroom sink. Nothing is sacred from their desire to hoard.

But most of the time. I just think the kitties think that they are dogs. They like to drink from the toilet. Sometimes they'll get a bit more high brow. Because they can turn on the faucet.They really like a good game of fetch. Just about anything will work. They like kitty toys. Stuffed animals will do the trick. My personal favorite is the heavy silver lever you use to flush the toilet. Yeah. They got that off the toilet and like to carry it around. I can attest that it is not fun for it to be "clunked" on you in the middle of the night when they want to play fetch.

But the biggest problem with kitties that think they are dogs. Well...it's chewing. They have ruined blinds.

Crocs. And anything that they can find. They have eaten most of their kitty toys. Soft mice with leather tails are now tail-less. Feathers at the end of a plastic circle. Well...feathers are devoured. The plastic circle. I have found bits of it around the house.

And the kitties most recent adventure was to eat a bunch of foam letters and numbers that the kids used to play with in the tub.

You know. Foam and kitties don't mix well. Foam forms a cork in the intestines.And causes kitties to have intestinal surgery. Requiring staples. And vet bills that look more like mortgage payments.

So...what about you? Did/do you like to pretend to be something that you are not? Has it ever taken you to the hospital? Are your pets struggling with identity as well? Do you have a favorite song that is a re-make/cover?

post signature

Theme song: Violent Femmes - Crazy. Because they are just as confused. Thinking that they are Gnarles Barkley.

52 comments:

Elena said...

Oh, your kitties are funny! YIKES that bill is not so funny. Darn animals. We had a basset hound once that ate a men's tube sock and pooped the entire thing out in the back yard. He also tried to swallow my husband's wallet...whole. I had to pull it out of his throat. I guess maybe he thought he was one of those crazy circus perfomers that can swallow swords and such. And I have to tell you that I LOVE how you put what song and why on your posts. I have this issue where for some reason I never hear the words to songs. So it's great to know why your song fits your post.

Romi said...

I pretended I was a Princess once when I was a kid and was puckering up to kiss Prince
Charming. I ended up at the hospital because I kissed the nearest thing in reach which was the toaster while it was toasting bread and burned my lips. I couldn't resist doing that. Prince Charming was nowhere in sight so I guess the toaster was the next best thing.

Leslie said...

Love your blog,adorable pictures!

jori-o said...

Growing up, we had a cat that thought he was a dog. It's fun to have crazy pets. Not fun to have expensive pets!

Swirl Girl said...

i don't 'do' cats...not the show or the animal.

Darcy @ LWM3B said...

oh. my. gawd.

$1059.03????

Are you for reals? There is NO WAY I'd pay that for a cat. And... well, I love my Lucy girl.

And I would miss her very much. ;)

I'd pay that for a Kat but for a cat? Notsomuch!

Cairo Typ0 said...

We don't have any pets but frequently talk about a cat. Having seen your curtains tho, i'm reconsidering. *eek*

We had a dog growing up that only like very expensive women's shoes. Payless - no thanks! Designer heels that my mother loved more than her own children - YUM! Pets know what pushes our buttons and they always want to remind us that we love them more. Or something...

The Farmer Files said...

I always wanted a cat, but I am allergic. So my parents got me a Barbie cat that was hairless. Sigh...not the same.

Lorna said...

I love your pictures, your kitties are so funny (although not when they eat foam :-( )
Our kittie likes to carry underpants around the house.

Twisted Fencepost said...

You definitely have some crazy cats!
I had a pony that thought he was a dog. Seriously. He followed us around the yard. At the dogs food. Tried to live on the porch.

Paige said...

You have some crazy cats! Thanks for sharing.

Lynette said...

Growing up I would pretend I was on stage singing to my favorite musicals. Surprise huh?
How I adore cats. We are down to only two hugh cats. Mamma's won't have much to do with me. I get to be kitty butler for her. Opening doors and fetching food and water. Martin is more social with us but not a lap kitty still. BUT what do you expect with 5 dogs (lab to chihuahua) and babysitting 21 month old twins and a 4 and 6 year old.
And listening to Elton again makes me all-----swimmy in the head as I sway from side to side.

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Cats are crazy. I enjoyed seeing yours - got a little chuckle.

Rhea said...

What a hilarious post! I can't believe your cats play fetch and chew...and drink out of toilets and turn on the faucet! Pretty amazing.

I'm glad the surgery went ok...sorry about that vet bill. OUCH.

Your cats crack me up!

Mama Dawg said...

My cats think they they're hetero but in reality, they're gay, gay, gay.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

You know those plastic yellow wrappers on the Always pads? I once found a wrapper sprouting from my cat's backside. He ate it. He was um err constipated because it was kinda blocking the path. I had to do a wrapper extraction.

TMI 'Nuff said Guh-roooss!

Jen said...

that is a cute post, we have a cat used to have 2 cats but one didn't make our move. I would love to have kittens again but I am going to make sure that I get rid of all the foam and but the crocks up.

HiHoOhio said...

Love the Cats and all those words for the wordless wednesday! Cats Rule don't you know....they know at least!

Rhea at Uptake said...

I had to come back by and look at those photos of your kitties again. HILARIOUS. They really don't think they are cats. They might need therapy. hehe

Ginny said...

That bill is insane! I was going to say I missed having little ones because they are so much fun. My kitty barely plays at all anymore.

Adorable shots though, I loved them all. Made my smile :)

SKELLER said...

YIKES!!!!!! Good thing your kitties got you and not me for a mommy. At least the sales tax was only 2 bucks!!

jen said...

our second most recent addition is rainy the monster...i mean, cat.
(insert whiny voice) oh, poor baby...he was abandoned by his mom when he was one day old and bottle fed by my friend...but he was going to have to go back out to the barn soon...and i didn't think he'd make it and he was so cute and we thought he was a girl...and i was pregnant and feeling really maternal.
yeah.
that one...
he chews EVERYTHING! including my wooden stairs.
i totally understand this post.

sassy stephanie said...

Oh man. Looks like there is constant entertainment over there!

Brandy said...

Oh how I can relate to this post! When we first got our boxer, Oz within a month he was sick and not eating. A trip to the vet showed he had a blocked intestines. Why? Because he had ate rocks. Yes rocks. So $1200 later he was able to poop but we were the ones wiped out.

And my cats drank out of the toilet too. That's why we always keep the lids closed.

Rhonda said...

We don't have cats but I loved reading your post.

Michelle said...

I love pet pictures!!!! :)

jennifersusan said...

My cat and your cats would definitely get along, although I think your cats would be a bad influence on my cat. Jynx has been known to use the toilet, but hasn't figured out how to flush yet. He has kitty friends who come to the door and wait and then they all go play in the yard, and he comes home when he's called. Mostly he's a jealous lap cat and demands my attention when I have any children in my lap that aren't him.

Jen E @ mommablogsalot said...

these pictures are adorable! I've always had cats growing up so I can relate to all the mayhem. I love the picture of the kitten peeking out from the curtain - sooooo cute!

Jo-Jo said...

Too cute! But that vet bill would make me be kitty-less!

Aleta said...

Those pictures were absolutely adorable. I love cat pictures like that. But I'm so sorry your kitten had to go through surgery. Poor thing... and woah... we need pet insurance for bills like that!

My Siamese cat, Tigger, is generally a calm cat, other than in the mornings and the late afternoon. Maybe it's his way of getting his exercise, but he runs, I mean high-tail ZINGS, through the house, back and forth, back and forth, as though he suddenly has to get to the other end of the house for something important and then flies back. Greg and I watch with utter amusement, back and forth. Too funny. Then, Tigs just chills for the rest of the day. Lol.

Carrie said...

I love the tired mommy blabber picture! I have a dog that sleeps like that.

Lucy Wiener thinks she is a Doberman, which gets her in trouble with actual Dobermans.

Henry Wiener thinks he is a chicken, but he's really just a scaredy-cat.

Have you met The Wieners?

JourneytoFamily said...

Oh my goodness... I LOVED all those hilarious kitty pictures! (except I'm sorry for the damage they've done to your blinds and pocketbook!)

One Wired Woman said...

Geez Louise!! Those "Kats" can do the darndest things!! I'm a cat lover myself... always had a cat when I was young. Now I own a dog since hubby is a dog lover.

~Jill :)

manic mariah said...

Shoot! Pets and vet bills, I have the same problem. Did you take a pic of the foam turd? COOL!

Tam said...

LOL LOL LOL This post was so very funny and I am a huge CAT lover as we have FOUR that OWN us!

Tam said...

OO you question on do I like to pretend something that I am not...hmmm what about a porno star. IT must be all that erotica I am reading lately!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Oh my! Can I ever relate!!!! God bless our kitties!!!

My brand new blinds have those kitty teeth marks in them too!!

I'm sorry about the foam eating kitty - owie!! Gentle hugs!

I really love your blog!!!!

Shannon said...

I would say our dog thinks she's one of the kids. 'Cause she does the same things they do. Leaves her toys all over the house. Charges into the bathroom when I'm in there. Whines at me when I'm trying to blog.

MarciaBrady said...

I used to pretend when I was younger.

Now, I just have so many things I want to accomplish and really feel like I have so many different personalities. Sometimes I'm serious, sometimes fun. Sometimes funny, sometimes not. Sometimes I want to be adventurous, sometimes I just want to veg out on the couch. So many different things. So, I don't really feel like I pretend to be something I'm not. It just depends on my mood on that day or time.

When I was younger, we had a cat that thought she was a dog. We raised German Shepherds and she would actually chase them. It was hilarious!! I miss Muffin!

I miss having animals. I rent, so we can't have dogs or cats. But, as soon as I have a house, you better believe I'll be getting both. They sure do bring a lot of joy to life!

TattooedMinivanMom said...

What CUTE mischeivious kitties you have! I grew up with cats but then became more and more allergic with age.

KimmyJ said...

Aww, sweet kitties. My new fur baby is leaving nice scars on my leather furniture! Sorry about the foam eating - and I hear ya about the vet bills, Pedro's first 2 visits for shots were over $100 each - yikes!

Linda said...

I've had many cats with with one or two of those quirky personality traits but you've got them all wrapped up in just 2 cats! I bet they're hysterical to watch!

Lula! said...

I am in love with this song...

OK, I cannot BELIEVE that foam-eating feline did that much damage to your wallet. She needs a spankin'. But I do hope she's feeling better. Was she so happy to see y'all when you picked her up? Has she eaten anything else that's not cat food?

I didn't have Pappasito's for lunch. 'Cause I am the reigning Mrs. IBS America. Ahem.

Loved this post. And--oh my head--did Lizzy's not crack you up? You girls make me laugh.

Jennifer P. said...

I remember when you didn't want those cats.....that $1,000 bucks ago ;)! They do have a way of working themselves into our heart, don't they? Glad kitty survived the foam.

I didn't know that Violent Femmes were still together! LOOOOOVE them! I also love the version of Burning Down the House I have done by Tom Jones and the Cardigans. Classic!

Loved the kitty pictures. If they just didn't have hair--I'd get myself a few too!

Brian and Staci said...

OUCH!! For the receipt and for poor Kitty! Gotta love 'em!!! Never been to the hospital for pretending to be something other than a maid in a wet shower...result: broken wrist for 10 weeks! No pets...but that is soon to change...breaking news!!! We are getting a little puppy in 2 weeks! More to come on my blog, hopefully :)

Lo said...

oohh i love cats. i'm so a cat person. but 13?? how do you AFFORD teh food? wow. yowzers.

ihave one cat right now, Daisy, she's been with me since she was barely 8 weeks. from the humane society. the LOUDEST cat i've ever met. she will meow you to DEATH. oh, and she waits for me. everywhere. and insists on coming into the bathroom with me when i .. use it.

but i just love her. i love your cats on the backs of the chairs- so hilarious!!!

Karen said...

OUCH, that vet bill !!!!!

Great photos though :-)

My female dog, Meesha, thinks she's a male. She stands on three legs and cocks the other one to pee, just like her brother...

Debbie said...

Those. are. hilarious! I love that you are right there snapping pictures of them...the toilet to sink pics made me laugh out loud... and that vet bill...holy guacamole!

CREEKSIDEMOM said...

Well, Kat, your bill was better than mine. Susie's bill last week was over $1500. (ouch!) Funny that we both had this experience at about the same time! (OK NOT so funny!)
Jill

Angie's Spot said...

Wow, vet bills like that take me back to a very unhappy time. No fun! I'm glad kitty is feeling better. Maybe this will curb her antics around the house. Or not.

I like to pretend that I'm British. Complete with accent. It has never taken me to the hospital, mostly because I've never done it out in public.

My cats often exhibit canine behavior. It's a little weird considering we've had dogs for the last 9 years exclusively.

My favorite song re-make is "The Heart of the Matter" by India Arie. I love Don Henley's version too, but India brings something different to it that I just adore.

Joye said...

Your cats are crazy! The positions they sleep in! They are still beautiful. My crazy cat also does that chewing thing. She was diagnosed OCD. hehehe

babyrocasmama said...

I think our cats are related!