Interviewing children is like herding cats

We are home. There is no longer a beach view from the kitchen. There is no more pajama swimming. Or feeding frenzies. I have reality. Which includes unpacking. An empty fridge. And a consignment sale to get ready for. So, I thought I'd blog.

Before we went on vacation, my friend Rhea over at Texas Word Tangle came up with a million and one ideas for me to blog about. Because I am always trying to figure out what to blog about. So...Rhea, thank you very much. This ENTIRE week of random drivel is dedicated to you! AND...at the end of the week...there will be a fabulous contest and give away.

One of the things that Rhea does so well is to interview her children. I tried to copy her a few months ago. But my children are rather uncooperative. Until Katie actually read one of Rhea's interviews...and then she wanted to do it.

So...Rhea came up with these questions for my girls. And she was thinking about them while drifting off to sleep. Just like any good blog stalker would.

So...we are sitting here at the kitchen table. I have my computer open in front of me...and I tell the girls that I am going to interview them for my blog. And then I am assaulted with questions: "Are you going to go in the computer and pretend your are Oprah?" "Are you going to do this at the same time?" "Can my color be blue?" "Are you going to start?" "I don't like pickles!"

See...you can tell that Katie has read Rhea's blog. And she knows that everyone is assigned a color. Katie will be blue. Madalyn will be purple. And my editorial comments will be black.

What's your favorite movie?
Probably either High School Musical or Iron Man. Or wait. Get Smart.
Hmmm...either Pokemon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea. Or Get Smart. (So then Katie brings to her attention that she went to the bathroom 37 times during the movie because she was scared. Madalyn says she liked some of it. And just so you know, this is *not* a scary movie. Anything with guns makes her scared. She kept asking me if he was going to die. And I kept repeating "this is a *funny* movie.)

Hey chief - is it Katie's turn for a question? (Since when am I chief? I have lost control of this interview already!)

What's your favorite outfit or item of clothing in your closet?
Do you mean shirt? Or favorite? Let me repeat the question: What is your favorite outfit or item of clothing in your closet? Okay. Ummm. Can I go and look in my closet? I have a big closet. I am going to the closet right now.

It's time for a short intermission. Let's whistle along with Monty Python..."always look on the bright side of life..."

I like everything except that orangy outfit you got me. Or that cherry shirt. It's horribly ugly. If I have to choose one: the cute green tank top or my new Alamo shirt.

I love the dessert we had yesterday. Can we eat that every day?
Umm...
Hey are you going to ask me yet? Mine is my Dolphin shirt we got on the cruise.

If you could dye your hair any color, what would you choose?

Can you ask me first? I would dye my hair green. Why? I don't know. It's a good color. (Not sure why she needed to answer first. But there you go.)
I don't like all the streaks of blonde in my hair so I'd dye them blue. Why? (Oh...and please insert sassy "duh" type response to) Cause blue is my favorite color. (I wonder if she knows that lots of women pay big bucks to have those streaks of blonde put into their hair?)

Katie, can you go a whole day without saying ummm? I don't think anybody can.

What's your favorite thing to do with your mom? (Katie gives me a look like I've just told her I burned all her high school musical shirts. She ponders. And keeps giving me glances.)
Going to the movies. (See - she's not traumatized by me "forcing" her to watch "Get Smart!")
Ummm. Just talking with you. I guess. (Ahhh...I'm feelin' the love)

What's your favorite thing to do with your dad?

"Thinking. Thinking. Thinking." Going to the park.

Ummm...

"Eat or be eaten"

And now...they realize that I have actually written down all the randomness that is Madalyn. And they are in hysterics. I wonder if I will ever get them back under control.

What's your favorite thing to do with your grandmother?

Going shopping. Helping her pick out perfume.

Just talking. I enjoy talking. (shocker!)

If a boy you liked gave you a gift, which gift would you like to receive from him?

A. a stuffed animal

B. a beaded bracelet

C. a mix CD he made himself for you

I'd like a CD. What kind of music would it be? Music that I like. (time to insert your own sarcasm. Do you think the boy will intuitively know what kind of music she likes?)

A stuffed animal. Or Hulk hands. Okay. Why? Cause I wanna punch people. (She watches way too much tv. And infomercials. Madalyn even wrote down the phone number to order Mighty Putty if anyone needs it. Now she's getting punchy. No hope anymore...)

If you saw an alien swimming in the pool tomorrow morning when you woke up, what would do? or say to it?

I'd scream and run. (I got a demonstration, by the way. I think it'll take a few days for my ears to recover.) I'd punch it with my hulk hands.

If I handed you a $100 dollar bill and told you to go spend it however you wanted, what would you spend it on?

I'd buy a toilet. (Peals of laughter.) Another giant fist. Is there such thing as a boyfriend store? (See, Rhea...this is why the interviews don't work!) I'm going to channel my logical self...and put it in the bank. Oh...wait...how much does a wii cost?

So...again...thank you very much to Rhea for her fantabulous questions. And I apologize for the interviewees.