Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Is it supposed to be an oxymoron?

On a pretty regular basis, I am presented with those faces. I'll be typing here at the computer, and Madalyn will tap me on the shoulder so that I can pay close attention to the face she is making. I'll be sleeping in my bed, and she'll come to wake me up - and will even turn on the light to show me this face. She'll yell from the waayy back in the van and ask me to look at her through the mirror to see this same face.

And why do I have to see this face? Is she having a tantrum? No. Is she constipated? Looks like it doesn't it? But, no, that is not why I am looking at this face. I have to look at this face because it comes with a question. And being a seven year old girl...it's fun to ask this same question 37 times. And the answer to the question is always "yes." So, what is the question? The question my friends is this: "is this what you look like when you are pushing out a baby?"

And along those same lines...let me tell you my favorite Madalyn story. Two summers ago, we were driving home from the pool and Katie decides that this is a perfect time to get all the clarification she desires on exactly how babies are made. So we go through the the basics (and, mind you, she had heard all of this before): sperm + egg = baby. Katie chews on that for a bit. And then Katie asks "but how exactly does the sperm get to the egg?" So, I explain the mechanics to her. And from the back of the van, I hear her sounds of disgust. How nasty that is...why would anyone want to do that?

And to myself, I am thinking, I am such a good parent. Yes, keep thinking that sweetheart. It's nasty and disgusting...and you don't want any part of it. But my pat on the back was quickly interrupted by a reality check from my 5 year old. Who asked a question that I am quite sure NO parent has been asked during the sex talk. Especially since I wasn't really talking to the 5 year old. MY 5 year old...in hearing about the mechanics of the act...asks: "so...how does that feel?" At least I was rescued from having to make a response because she quickly followed up her own question with another: "does it tickle?" And with the peals of laughter through the van...mommy was soon forgotten...

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34 comments:

Lauren Horsley said...

The combo of that story and that picture are enough to blackmail that cute girl for LIFE! I am definitely coming to you for advice when my little ones start getting curious...

Karen said...

I was smiling at the photos and then I started reading the post. honestly, I'm cracking up here.

I'm quite sure that you are right, that no parent has ever been asked that question...at least mine never asked me that. That is just toooo funny! At least it wasn't in public!

Swirl Girl said...

Oh crap- I just got the little one pooping on the potty, and now I have to explain all this ...

sometimes i wish I had boys so it would be dad's job.

Angie said...

Oh, I'm loving the Barry White! Hysterical. I'm so glad you prepared me for a potential question, because hopefully I have a couple of years before my girls start asking the fun questions and I can prepare some great answers. I'm so not ready for this.

Beckynsc said...

What a question? My daughter never asked that question. She was 15 and there when I had my last child. She was not impressed. Decided she wasn't having kids. That was 11 years ago. She just had her first. Funny, how time erases the bad memories. tee hee

Bobbi said...

Too cute!

SKELLER said...

Kat, for you.... just rename it Wordy Wednesday ;-)

And I know better than reading your posts when I'm having my morning coffee. Really, I do. But I did. Mistake.

Katy said...

Thank you for my dose of Barry White! Too funny...

Katy
http://mynutvillage.com/

Joye said...

My husband makes crazy faces always--cracking me up. Nice face but the reason for it is even better. I imagine she is close, right?

Wee Pip said...

Oh my...I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Too funny!

Rhea said...

Oh, that was good. I knew it was going to be a great post when I saw those faces, I just didn't know where you were going with it...and then I did. OH, wow. Does it tickle?

God, I love those faces. You're killin' me. I'm laughing so hard over here.

Brian and Staci said...

Oh Kat...I am laughing hard! We haven't had "the talk" yet...My answer, to that face you always see, would be...nope, I had a c-section! (Which probably opens a whole different can of worms!!??)

texcindy said...

I knew the story before it was told here and i stil laughed. but to those that think this is blackmail material, they don't understand that Madalyn doesn't get embarrassed about anything. she's her father's daughter for sure. still, Kat--you cracked me up! ROFL!!
cindysue

Mama Peep said...

WOW! What is it about 7year olds. We recently had a similiar discussion witht he youngest asking all the WRONG questions and the older too squirming with disgust. I, however, did not have the tickle comment to distract frommy lame answers. VERY FUNNY Wordy Wednesday!

Patricia in WA
Happy WW

A family of boys said...

ROFL! Gotta love those conversations. (and the faces)

A family of boys said...

ROFL! Gotta love those conversations. (and the faces)

Elena said...

I laughed so hard I had a coughing attack! I'm still laughing. That was great!!!!

starlashine said...

That is hilarious! I am now thankful I have a boy.

The Ridge School said...

Sex ed the Barry White way. Nothing better.

:-)))

The Q Family said...

So soon? Miss J will turn 7 next year. Is that what I have to prepare myself??

Very cute pictures!

-Amy @ The Q Family

Rhea said...

I forgot to ask, are you going to have Internet access at the beach? Or are you going to advance post a little?

Lula! said...

I'm sorry, but you have a picture of your 7 year old set to the stylings of Mr. Baby Maker himself. And that, my dear, is why I love you so. Oh but yes, it is.

Barry (RIP!) is essential to any sex ed. discussion. End of story.

Kat said...

You guys are too funny! And thanks for inflating my ego and makin' me think I am a comedian or something. The idea of which might send my husband into hysterics.

But with a child like Madalyn in my house...the stories run rampant. I'm telling ya, this one is just the tip of the ice berg. Mammas...hide your boys from this one.

And Joye...she really does have a grip on the look. We've obviously watched one too many episodes of "A Baby Story." Notice the beads of sweat forming on her forehead. I'll let her know you might be in need of a birthing coach. She does conference calls.

And I greatly appreciate all of you with sick senses of humor. Like me. Who thought that a song by Barry White was a perfect accompaniment to this post.

And Rhea - our beach house has wi-fi...so you will get your posts while I am on vacation. Which will be much cheaper than the $200 I spent while cruisin' to give you that daily fix. (Well...it was for me too. But it's much easier to be a martyr.)

Heather said...

Oh my stars...Barry White with this post...priceless!!! We're on the edge of having that talk. I'm not scared. Nope. It'll all be okay.

Teri said...

Oh my gosh, I swear, that is HILARIOUS! I have always said it and I'll keep saying it...I LOVE THAT KID!!! What a riot!

-Bridget said...

Ok, that was SO not what I expected the question to be. That is so funny!

Insane Mama said...

Does it tickle??? HAHAHA that is hilarious!
ps I sent you the email BEFORE I left How silly that you got it the day I was coming home. probably made you wonder about me...

Firefly mom said...

Oh, I am *sooo* glad that my son hasn't asked "how does it feel?"

He's asked nearly every other question about it, but not that one. Glad he doesn't know any 5 year olds ;D

John Deere Mom said...

I can laugh at this because I have yet to deal with such issues. Well, I do deal with 20 some 11 year old boys with "the movie" every year. That counts for something, right?!

Romi said...

Barry White...love it!
I remember my daughter asking me the same question and having the same response, however, she didn't ask me how it felt! Oh, this post made me laugh, and the comment you left on my blog sent me over the edge into hysterics. Thanks for the laugh of the day.

Jennifer P. said...

Oh so funny! I have stealthily (did I spell that right?) avoided having "that talk" with my boys. THey still think sex refers to male or female. Guess we better get it out of the way before they head into public school, right?!:)

tabbikat said...

I asked my mother the "Exactly how does the sperm from the dad get to the egg in the mom?" question on the city bus. I'm not sure I've been forgiven for that yet and I'm 38 now. But I definately was in camp with your 7 year old in that when she tried to explain it to me I responded, "Oh, no he DOESN'T!" My 5 almost 6 hasn't asked yet but I just know it is coming as more and more of her friends get baby brothers and sisters.

Danica said...

oh dear god! HA!!!! that is so awesome. Your kid is fantastic! i am so glad you did not have to answer that :)

Debbie said...

Does it tickle..ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...at least she asked that...when I was ten and learned about the birds and the bees, "I asked if it hurt....bahahahahahhhahha