Thursday, July 3, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: Independence Day

1996. It was the year I got married. It was the year they found the Unabomber. Bill Clinton began his second term of office. Atlanta held the Centennial Olympics. And the great movie "Independence Day" was released. If I am ever channel surfing and find this movie...I have to stop and watch. Have to.

So...as I was trying to figure out what to do today...I ran across this fabulous site listing all the things that could be learned from the movie "Independence Day." So, I offer many, many thanks to Dean Kanipe for allowing me to plagarize borrow some items from his work of genius:


1. Aliens like to blow up significant land marks first. Apparently the best way to destroy a city is to position your "Death Ray" over the most recognizable building.

2. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you are travelling with a dog and a small child. The Law of Averages says you'll survive the Death Ray.

3. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you are NOT a raspy-voiced homosexual cable TV executive. The Law of Averages says you'll get waxxed by the Death Ray.

4. NASA sends out rejection letters, just like Harvard.

5. A fleet of RVs can travel across the Nevada Test Site in line-abreast formation without the need of roads, thanks to the imense expanses of Salt Flats and the lack of impeding mountains.

6. Area 51 has a big chain-link fence around it, and the guards at the gate wear black combat fatigues with white metal helmets in 120 degree heat.

7. Standard operating procedure for the Air Force is to cluster all vehicles, aircraft, and ground personel on a 200 meter section of tarmac in the middle of an Alien Invasion.

8. Any bonehead with rudimentary aviation experience can be taught to pilot an F-18 in 5 hours.

9. Any bonehead with F-18 flight experience can learn to pilot an Alien fighter in 5 minutes.

10. If you're President and your administration is faltering and an Alien Invasion occurs, relocate the V.P., the Cabinet, and the Joint Chiefs to one centralized location so that the Aliens can take them all out with one shot. You can always blame the problems of the past on them after victory is achieved.

11. In 10 hours, one man with a Macintosh Laptop can code a virus in C++ that will take down a completely alien computer system.

12. Even though the Mac isn't compatible with most other Earthly operating systems, it can interface with an alien computer.

13. Alien network security is nonexistant.

Copyright © 1996, Dean Kanipe, 626 West Club Blvd, Durham, NC 27701. May be reproduced on the internet for personal use only. Any reproduction in print or in any fixed or for-profit medium is not allowed without written permission. Whenever this document is copied, this copyright statement must remain attached.


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13 comments:

Lula! said...

Hilarious...truly.

I'm with you...I've seen this flick a million times and will rewatch as if each viewing is the first.

Plus it has some of my fave people in it...Harry Connick, Jr. (just hearing him say "boo-tay" is worth the price of admission alone!), Mary McDonnell(the first lady, NOW the President on my new fave, Battlestar Galactica) and Brent Spiner (Dr. Okin--he gets killed by the alien.), the greatest android on television..."Data" from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Great cast...

See how I've thought all of this out? You just mention "Independence Day" and I go all fangirl on you.

Bobbi said...

Great Thursday Thirteen!

Swirl Girl said...

Dean had way too much time on his hands in 1996. Maybe the Dungeons and Dragon convention wasn't goin' on his town.

Debbie said...

I feel safer now. I think.

Rhea said...

You did it!! You sneaky gal you. I'm so glad you posted! This was funny.

The music was the PERFECT accompaniment.

I had something else to say, and I totally lost my train of thought.

I'm thinking....

still thinking...

Oh, WAIT, I remember now. My boys have one of those "boys only" books and it teaches you all kinds of boy stuff. Like how to get out of quick stand and how to wrestle a croc...AND, how to land an airplane!!! Lordy.

Kat said...

Thanks guys for having fun with me. I really do love this movie. And all its cheesy goodness. It's like a train wreck and I just can't look away.

And Rhea - The Dangerous book for boys looks so cool...

Romi said...

"6. Area 51 has a big chain-link fence around it, and the guards at the gate wear black combat fatigues with white metal helmets in 120 degree heat."

Those are the "hot heads"...

Joye said...

I have seen this movie several time but never made it through the whole thing. Sorry wasn't for me... but I like the fact that I have a Mac and could control and alien ship! Maybe I should give that movie another try to understand this reference.

Sidney said...

More Johnny, please....





hehe

Angie said...

This is my FAVE R.E.M. song!!! And that movie was a riot. Great list, even if it was "borrowed". You guys enjoy that beach vacation! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Karen said...

Yes, that's one of my favourite movies as well.

That list is a gas :-)

Elena said...

So funny. We watched this movie the day we were married (in the hotel) too. I love this show.

Firefly mom said...

Hehe - this is too funny! I love this movie as well - one of my guilty pleasures. And after you watch Firefly, you'll yell out "Jane!" the next time you watch the movie ;D