Thursday, January 15, 2009

Cry me a River

I don't think that I would ever categorize myself as sentimental. I am not one to hold on to things. And I am quite guilty of throwing things away. Only to realize too late that I really needed something.

Along with not being sentimental...I might have even...Once upon a time, called myself stoic. And said that I don't cry.

Except. Really. I do. I was just good at hiding it. At pretending that I had an eyelash in my eye while watching "Charlotte's Web." Or biting my lips to ebb the tears over the finale of M*A*S*H or St. Elsewhere.

Until I had children. And now. The tears just flow. Over anything. Over nothing. And not a thing can ebb their flow.

I think it started when Katie was about two weeks old. Michael and I left her with my parents and went for our first afternoon alone. Guess what we did. We saw a movie. Just imagine it. A new mom. A hormonal new mom. Watching "Titanic." It was not pretty. And after that. Well, for just about any movie, the flood gates are open. Steel Magnolias. Four Weddings and a Funeral - when they read the Auden poem. Terms of Endearment. "Give my daughter the shot!" Field of Dreams "hey dad...wanna have a catch?" Oh, I could go on.

I can cry over Publix grocery store commercials. That sweet one at Christmas time where the intern thinks that he will be celebrating alone, only to find his whole family cooking dinner in his apartment. Or that hallmark commercial with the older lady. Who never gets any mail. And she's always checking. So a sweet neighborhood sends her a card.

And then there is music. Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven." Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings." Or, most uncomfortable of all is to be in church when they sing "On Eagle's Wings."

And then there are books/movies like "Marley and Me." Well...we all know how that one ends. And because I know what will happen. I just don't go there. I haven't read it. I won't go see it. I have to "protect" my youngest from movies with any sort of violence. She just can't handle it. Just like I would not be able to handle Marley. And I could never read my kids "Love you Forever" by Robert Munsch.

And then I started blogging. And tears have become part of my day. Sad tears. Tears of comfort. Happy tears. All from things that you guys have written. It's amazing that my laptop hasn't shorted out. I don't think that any of my posts have brought anyone to tears. Except from tears of wasted time. And chest beatings about "I'll never get that 2 minutes back!"

I suppose that because I am a crier. Who does not want to be a crier. I really like it when the catharsis is cut short by a joke. I need the light heartedness. And the silly. To balance out the sap. Or maybe the answer is that I should just surrender. And buy stock in Kleenex.

So...what about you? Are you a crier? Or do you have a steely resolve? Is there something that will get you every time?

post signature

Theme song: Justin Timberlake - Cry me a River. Because it actually does not make me cry.

55 comments:

Rhea said...

I'm not a crier. But every now and then something will get me, and I have that huge emotional release.

We just need that every now and then.

Like chocolate.

Except I seem to need chocolate more than I cry...so maybe eating chocolate is like crying for me.

Yep, that sounds good. I'm gonna go with that.

Shannon said...

Oh, I am a big crier. BIG.

The "loved ones" episode of Survivor.

Any episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

The final chapters of the last four Harry Potter books.

Too many pieces of music to list here.

"The Family Stone" is currently on the TV... I've seen this movie countless times, but I've already teared up three times while it's been on now...

With me, it's more like what doesn't make me cry?

Shelley said...

Child, I cry buckets. Over nothing, over anything, it doesn't matter......

LadyStyx said...

Depends on my mood and what's going on in my life whether or not I cry. Things that made me cry before dont now and some are vice versa. In general, I dont cry unless the subject is extremely powerful.

greedygrace said...

Yeah, I'm a crier. My friends in real life think I'm the tough one, but really I'm a sissy la la.

I cry every time I read Love you Forever. I can't read it to my daughter anymore. But I still read it to myself-- because crying is good for you!

Elena said...

Kat I think you just wrote about ME!!! I think I've told you I saw Titanic on our first alone date after Alyssa was born. THe scene with the mom putting the kids to bed, and the mother holding the dead baby in the water. Argghhhh! And I too, REFUSE to watch Marley and Me. (And also refuse to let my girls see it. Or that stupid reality Penguin movie.) I can't watch Fox in the Hound either. (My in-law make fun of me.) And you'll just have to read my blog today to see what else I cry about.

Gina said...

Now that I've had kids, I can't watch anything where something bad happens to a child.

Also, I have cried over more books this year, than in the rest of my life time.

The Kite Runner. A Thousand Splendid Suns. 3 books about an Amish girl called The Sisterhood of the Quilt (I think). My Enemy's Cradle. And surprisingly(to me, at least) the first two books of a certain vampire series tha I finally relented and began to read.

Yeah, I'll bawl at just about anything.

Jenny said...

Depends what time of the month it is.

WillowLakeScents said...

Hmm... I never used to cry ~ over anything. Now ~ I cry over everything !Wonder why that is ??

Kari said...

I am definitely a crier, although, I don't like to make a big production of it. I try to keep my crying to myself. But, yes, I've been known to cry at commercials and songs (country songs are the worst, I can't even listen to them).

Kimberley said...

I don't so much cry at little things anymore,though I did when my children were smaller. But when I cry now, look out because it is deep and intense!

I'll never forget the first movie I saw after my oldest was born--Cider House Rules--and I wept and wept and because of the experience, it is one of my favorite movies and books.

Love the Timberlake!

Finding Normal said...

I am a crier. MAJOR crier. I do the ugly cry. It just comes easier now. I think Addison really threw things out of balance for me. Let's not lie, I've always cried easily. Embarassingly easy sometimes. But now it's just ridiculous. I think when you live with the fear that your child could bite the dust at any moment (even though she's relatively healthy most of the time, she's still considered medically fragile), the tears just sit behind your eyes. I'm almost crying as I type this. And the blogs that make me cry. Oh my!
And Kari? I hear ya on the country music. My husband turns it on just to torture me, I think!

amy said...

I am a crier, for sure, but not over Titanic, I hated that movie. And not over "I love you forever" because in my opinion that book is just plain creepy. And my sister stopped me from ever being sentimental over "Tears in Heaven" the day she wrote a song called "Here at Marshall's" to the same tune. (Now THAT one can make me cry- oh! The bargains!)

And did it not occur to you that the young intern would in reality be MORTIFIED to find his entire family in his apartment. "Crap!" he's thinking, "My MOM'S been here all day?!?!?"

But my most embarrassing cry moments are over country songs. I do not LIKE country music, I do not LISTEN to country music, but darned if it doesn't have the immediate effect of making me cry, even when I think the song is lame. Like that stupid song about the kid buying the shoes in case his Momma has to meet Jesus that night- how can something that stupid and contrived make me CRY?

Lynette said...

I just don't cry. If I do than that means the world has all caved in. I hardly ever let out those tears. And do you know what?

I wish I could. It would feel so good sometimes to have that release.

So enjoy a good cry for me sometime.

And when your resolve is all gone I will be "strong" for you.

Gina said...

Big, huge crier here. I cry over books, movies, TV shows, commercials, you name it. I cried writing my last blog post. I always have been a crier, but having kids made it worse.

Sarah said...

I'm a crier as well, and it doesn't take much!I cry over television shows, movies, even commercials...and yes, the old lady who never got mail- WATERWORKS!
I also find myself crying over my children...not because I am upset but because I love them so much. I cried when I am proud of them, cry when I think of how quickly they are growing and I cry when they embrace each other in comfort when one or the other is hurt.
I cry often and I am not ashamed!

Susan said...

I could have written this b/c I am the exact same way, except it started for me when I was pregnant (so I can also place part of the blame on hormones). I am a weepy little mush now.

heathersister said...

Oh, hell. I cry about anything. Of course I cried at the movies you mentioned, Terms of Endearment, cry every time. Steel Magnolias, the episode of ER when Anthony Edwards died.

I cried at my kids birthday parties when everyone sang to them. Every year.

I cried last night when the school teacher, who recently lost his wife, made it to Hollywood on American Idol. (He is gonna make the final 12, that is my prediction).

I am a big sap. And proud of it! And btw, I enjoy reading your blog.

Shalee- Be Speechless said...

Oh man I get it from my mom!
She cries over Publix commercials too. See over here in the Northwest Publix does not exist so when i tell people i cry over their commercials they laugh at me.
I cry every time that commericial to save the animals. For the abused kitties and puppies. Oh man I bawl like a baby. Talk about the water works! Then they are playing : In the arms of an angel! Holy cow.. I will pay the 20 bucks a month!! Here is my credit card number! Take it Take it all! Save the puppies and the kitties!

Ahem... anyway...
Laughter gets me through.
If my husband is sitting there watching me be a boob he will normally make fun of whatever i am watching So i will laugh,
What a good man I have.

Tam said...

Crier here! I cried over Kori's blog today!

heathersister said...

Yup. Just read Kori's post.
Crying again.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Do I REALLY need to answer this??

Yes... I am a crier. But like you I often find the need to lighten things with a joke (thus my offer to donate a Boob to Kori should the need arise)...

I can't read that one book I mentioned on my blog the other day, nor can I hear Amazing Grace without crying, and Silent Night gets me every time. There's a song by Martina McBride called In My Daughter's Eyes and I just got misty TYPING THE DANG TITLE OF THE SONG. What does THAT tell you.

I think it's okay to be "emotional" meaning it's okay to cry and laugh out loud and be angry and dreamy and frustrated and victorious.... as long as it's an even balance :)

And ditto to anyone who said they can't watch things where kids get hurt... nope... me either. No way.

I did see Marly and Me... and I did take my girls. They seem to be no worse for the wear... for now.

I'll probably pay big $$ in therapy later in life for them.

I also thought that same thing when I put both Aerosmith and Prince on my 5-year-olds ipod, but that's not really the point of your post so I'll stop now.

Mama Dawg said...

First of all...that Auden poem? MY FAVORITE. That's also my favorite scene in ANY MOVIE EVER. I love that scene. I ADORE John Hannah. Did you ever see "Sliding Doors" with him and Gwyneth Paltrow? To die for.

No, I'm not really a crier. Mostly when I get angry.

However, La Bamba, Beaches and Pay It Forward are the only movies that have EVER made me cry. And cry buckets.

Carrie said...

I've always been a crier, but I used to be able to hold back. Then I got pregnant and became and emotional mess. Then I had the baby and the tears haven't stopped flowing since! Grrrrr....

Everything gets me. And I mean ehv.ree.thing! Oh crap, I'm crying now.

Angela said...

I cried this morning on my way to take the kids to school. My son Elijah turns seven today and for weeks he has been asking for snow on his birthday so he can have a huge snowball fight. This morning as we were going to school IT WAS SNOWING! Granted it was flurries and he probably won't get enough for a snowman or snowball fight but I was crying because he got the one thing I couldn't give him!

jennifersusan said...

I wasn't a "big" crier until after my oldest was born, and even then I wasn't too bad. Then came Rose, I swear I think it's the hormones from having a girl that sent me over the edge. Right now she's watching "Muppets Take Manhattan" and singing along, ect..and I'm having a hard time not getting emotional. I think about how old I was when this movie came out and can't even believe I have kids who love to watch it. It's stuff like that, that sets me off. First days of school, last days of school, birthdays, snow days, anything and everything. Like you said, it's not necessarily sad tears, they are happy and bittersweet and all sorts of tears. Crazy mommy hormones!

Britt said...

I never used to be a crybaby. Then I had children. Now, I am my mother.

I cry every time someone gets kicked off a reality show .. even if I liked them.

I cry during sappola commericals, like the ones you described.

I cry when my toddler unexpectedly tells me she loves me .. or pees in the potty for the first time.

Luckily, I don't get all weepy .. but the tears well, and I bite my lip.

Oh, and one of your posts made me cry. Your post about your dad. It was lovely, and my eyes took a bath. =-)

Ashley Ann said...

I cry. I try not to, but sometimes I just can't hold it in! Chainsaw and I watched Sicko the other night, and that made me cry eleventy times.

Susie said...

I am like you...I never cried until I had kids. Now, I am bawling all the time:-)

~Michelle~ said...

Totally a crier...especially when PMS hits.

I cried @ Marley & Me...and I even read the book, so I knew how it should go exactly! *groan* But you should see the movie, especially if you've ever had a pet you've been overly attached to - your "Marley."

Jo-Jo said...

Yeah...I am a crier that doesn't want to be. But I have learned to except it.

Blogging Mama said...

I only cry over certain things. Parts of movies yep, most definitely. Can't think of any at the moment though. Marley and Me? That's the new Aniston one right? I have no idea what it's about and since we never have a sitter and the movie probably will only have two shows in english here, I won't see it till dvd. If I see it.

Now I'm going to have to google it to see what it's about!

Brandy said...

I'm like you in that I never considered myself a crier, but as the years passed I found myself crying at commercials, movies, songs...and now even tearing up at your blog.

Now I'm an over-crier. Stevie loves to make fun of me...

I blame those blasted hormones I have. He thinks I'm nuts.

~Is it wrong to really, really like the JT song today? Cause I do.~

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Erin.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

I avoid crying like the plague...Really only because I'm an ugly crier. Really. The dimply quivering chin, my face splotches up, my nose is like a faucet, and I. can't. breathe. *sob* It's ridiculous.

I still cry every now and then. And I hate it, but it does feel good to let it out when I do.

Becca Watson said...

Yup, I am a crier. i'll cry at sad songs, books, happy things, movies, especially animal movies. Lately I have been crying at the drop of a hat, don't know why..

American in Norway said...

Oh I am a HUGE baby...I cry at anything/everything... My mom & sister are the same...(how fun for the rest of the family...)
Now imagine how life is after I married into the ICE Family... not that they don't love each other... they are just soooo NOT emotional...

I remember the day Bjørn & I were moving BACK to the U.S. I was pregnant... Bjørn parents said...Bye...just like that...Good Bye have a nice trip... No hug nothing... (they really do like him I promise...) I was HORRIFIED.. in total shock... when we moved back to Norway, my family was crying for WEEKS... I thought my mom was going to throw her body onto the runway so the plane would be unable to take off....
Wow..sorry for the long comment... but your a SUPAH STAR... you can handle it... 300 hits...man, send them over my way!

Jen said...

I am not really a crier but then now and then I have a day, like yesterday, when I just can't stop the water works.
And there are a few movies that just make me cry, I can't help it especially when its something that I can relate too.

Linda said...

Yes, I'm a crier ... movies, TV, music, books ... I'll get the little lump in my throat, the tingle in my chest and lookout ... you know the tears are coming. And all I have to do is try to make myself NOT cry and it only makes it worse. It's just the way I am.

Becca Watson said...

Hi, me agian.. Please stop by my blog. I have something for you..

O.G. said...

Those Publix commercials are very touching. First the little pilgrim couple are together then they get forcefully seperated to provide spice to somebody's dinner...they get worried that they can't find their mate. But it all works out in the end. Do you need a tissue?

SKELLER said...

I try not to cry. I really do. And each year that I re-read The Christmas Miracle of Jonathon Toomey, I'm super-duper sure I'll be able to do it tear-free. But I don't.
And I totally bawled my way thru my out-loud reading of Across Five Aprils. And my boys LAUGHED at me and teased me mercilessly.

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

I hope that wearing my heart on my sleeve is always in fashion. :)

Teri said...

About 2 seconds after Nicholas was born, I because a crier. I used to be so strong. Didn't cry at a thing. Ever. Then commercials about anything made me cry. Had a hard time getting through Fox and the Hound when the kids were little. I can't even tell you how many times I had to fight back the tears during classes these last two years. Of course, when we saw films about the Bomb and other war stuff. But, get this, when I read the final chapter of Socrates' Trial and Death, I had to keep stopping because it was just so touching and tragic. Yes, philosophy. Have you read it?

Kori said...

Do I really have to answer this? I mean really?

I have been doing better. There are actually full days sometimes 2 in a row when I don't have a full blown come apart.

But there far, few and in between.

Better make sure Shannon has plenty of Kleenex.

Ann said...

I was humming the blues today and cried just because. (Without anyone seeing.) I love a good cry every now and then.

I would much rather be a crier than not. There is something genuine about someone who is able to shed a tear or two. Those who don't are masters of sweeping, just check under their rugs. :)

Oh2122 said...

I am, just not in public. And much more so since I had Monkey. Then again, I'm also a laugh till I cry-er, a the world is ending-er, and a door slammer.

What can I say? It's the Celtic blood. I have IRA founders and Wallaces on either side of my family tree.

We're a scrappy people, apparently.

Heather said...

Oh, I'm a total sap.

Hallmark commercials. School functions. Hell, I even teared up watching a Disney special on the Travel channel, thinking about the awesome memories we're gonna be making when we go.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, a sob stuck in your throat and tears soaking through your pillow? 'Cause I do, at least once a month. Sometimes I remember the dream, sometimes I don't, but I always wake up with a headache afterward.

And though your blog may not make me cry, it always makes me smile (especially when I win :).

Mariah said...

When I cry it is full blown crying... Loud and hard. Sometimes I cry too much and sometimes too little

Michelle said...

Ohhh... I'm a crier. It all started with Man In The Moon with Reese Witherspoon when someone two aisles down and half the theater over passed me tissues.

And today at the gym, I'm on the treadmill watching the silent tvs in front of me and almost cried three or four times at various things... the quotes from the pilots from yesterday's crash, the newly separated Siamese twins, etc. I was able to stop myself fortunately ;)

NJDecorator said...

I am a crier. I cried when my son went to school for the first time, when he won student of the month, when he was in the band and for a thousand other reasons.

I cried when I maried my wonderful husband because I never thought I would see that day.

I cry sometime because my body just needs it.

Oh yeah, I am a crier.

John Deere Mom said...

I cry, but not terribly easy, I don't think. I cry when I get upset or frustrated, especially when I am hormonal. I definitely cry at movies and while reading books.

ChicagoLady said...

I cry at some of the stupidest things, at a movie I've seen a million times. I well up when reading a romance novel and they nearly break up. Anyone on a tv show that dies, I cry. One of my favorite movies, Notting Hill, I cry every single time I watch, when Julia Roberts says "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me." I will start crying when I recall a memory of something I did once with a friend that passed, or just going to visit family that I haven't seen in awhile. Anything and everything triggers it, and I can't even blame children for it, because I have none.

WheresMyAngels said...

I'm a horrible crier :(

Debbie said...

I am a big crier...especially when I am, ya know, PMSing... and that Robert Munsch book "I Love You Forever" gets me.every.single.time.

PS...I skipped the door thing above...it required too much thinking for me tonight ;)

Anonymous said...

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