Monday, January 12, 2009

Hypochondria to the Max

What a weekend. One I am quite ready to forget. Pretend never happened. Except that I am about to commit it here. For posterity. And ridicule.

It all started with a bang on Friday. I have this small rash on my back. And I thought that rather than call a dermatologist. I'd go online and see if I could figure out what it might be. If ever. In the future. You think about self-diagnosis. Don't. Don't do it. Don't be tempted. Just say no. Run far away.

Because when you google skin rashes. All kinds of horrors show up. And you might convince yourself that you have impetigo. Or leporsy. Or MRSA. All of which are rather scary. And you begin to wonder if really it might be ebola. And you keep checking your eyes to see if they have started bleeding yet.

And then. You might have tightening in your chest. And nausea. And light headedness.
And then. If you couple that with a radiating pain from your back down your arm into your hand. You might convince yourself that you are having a heart attack. Or that you have yet another fatal disease. And then people might need to be gathered to talk you down from the ledge.

Have them speak softly. And utter soothing words. Because in actuality. What is wrong with you is a little eczema.

And that pain from your shoulder. Well that is wii arm. Not to be confused with tennis elbow. Because wii arm is from holding the wheel on Mario Kart a little too tightly. And from scrunching your muscles. That is the scientific name you know. That scrunching that tightens you up. As you try to not let your cart go off the cliff.

So...what about you? Do you ever try to look up symptoms on the internet? Have you ever been convinced you had some disease that you did not? Ever given yourself a strange ailment like wii arm? (Let's not go into the time I threw out my neck from blow drying my hair...)

post signature

Theme song: Fuel - Hemorrhage

53 comments:

Gina said...

Actually, I tease my friend that she is an internet certified diagnostitition. And the scary thing? She's usually right.

Rhea said...

Eczema and Wii arm, huh?! I love it. You crack me up.

Because you know I do the same thing. Look up everything on Web MD and convince myself I have horrible exotic diseases.

Oh, I love this post. Thank you for sharing your neuroses with us.

WheresMyAngels said...

I had vertigo all day last Sunday. I think I spent 2 hours Goggling it and about 12 hours thinking I was dying.

Tiffany said...

I have definitely googled symptoms before but none that I can think of right now. But it is rather scary how your mind can wander and cause you to experience ghost pains and such, huh?

And I'm lovin the song. HILARIOUS!

Romi said...

I went to the dentist on Friday certain that I had a grand case of TMJ...it wasn't. I was fairly certain that I would not make it through the weekend without emergency medical treatment. Turns out it was a wisdom tooth that had to be removed. Didn't even know I still had anything smart left in me.
I have a horrible case of computer based medical knowledge that I need to curb or I'll spend all my time thinking I am dying of every little ache and pain. I am now a firm believer that not knowing or researching everything is a good thing.

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Erin.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

I'm sitting here nodding my head...I married to a self diagnoser. The first time he did it his stomach had been hurting and acting up for a few days {just so happened to be a few days after he got shocked and fell 4 feet off a ladder}. He looked something up and headed in to the emergency room to get it checked out.

There were two problems with this. First, it turned out his appendix was about to burst so he had to have emergency surgery. Second, when he drove himself to the hospital? I was in bed, asleep. And woke up to an empty home and a voicemail from a nurse telling me what happened. Ugh.

sticky said...

Too funny...I'm a recovering WebMD addict. Now that you mention it, my shoulder is a little sore too...

Please check out my blog if you have time, I shared an award with you...

http://www.nottoosticky.com/2009/01/you-love-me-you-really-love-me.html

Shannon said...

Aw, I wanna hear the hair dryer story!

Brandy said...

hahahaha story of my life!

Angela said...

Wii arm ~ love it! Actually I have diagnosed myself and the family many times using the internet and I have been right 9 out of 10 times!! By far my best diagnosis was my appendicitis and my family thought I was nuts until I was having an appendectomy less than 8 hrs later! However I thought the pain in my back was my kidneys however it was an ovarian tumor removed along with the ovary during the appendectomy! I did have one scary one with my son and a rash which ended up to be heat rash so I must say the rashes are harder to diagnose!

Blogging Mama said...

Love the wii arm. That's a cute diagnoses. Yes never self diagnose, you'll be dead before long if you do!

Kimberley said...

You got us all with the wii arm. It's not yet 7:00 a.m., and I laughed hard--thanks for bringing the first bout of the day on!

Hope the rash clears up soon!

Gina said...

I have no business getting anywhere near an internet medical site, because i diagnose myself with all sorts of terrible things, and then give myself real ailments worrying about them. And I have had wii arm from wii bowling. It says a lot about my fitness level.

Sarah said...

Wii Arm---I have that one too, who knew hours of Mario Kart could actually prevent me from doing daily chores, haha!
I am always on the internet self diagnosing...I used to do it for my kids too, but that got WAY TOO SCARY!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

OOo OOOO - Can we play we if/when I come down this weekend???

Heather said...

I love when patients and their families start their sentence with, "I was on WEB-MD last night...".

NOT!

Yep, it drives the nurse in me crazy!

However, I do sometimes look up rashes on the internet when my kid shows up with something funky. Once it really was chicken pox, once it was poison ivy. Go figure.

Winter time sucks for eczema. Think Eucerin lotion. Works for Gabe.

Kat said...

I do love it - that's part of the reason I try very hard not to self diagnose

I now only "google" illnesses when the doctors say we have something or other and need to take this or that. Believe me that can be scary enough. And we only go to the doctors when we really can't take it anymore.

DiPaola Momma said...

"Hi, My name is Lara and I'm a Hypochondriac", I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in this! My children have had everything from MRSA to Horner's Syndrome (that I can blame on a doctor though, she said,"Well we can't say what it is your son has. This symptom can indicate Horner's Syndrome. But whatever you do don't look it up on the internet. You'll just scare yourself and we can't say that is what he has".. ARE YA KIDDING ME?! That's like telling a two year old not to eat the plate of fresh cookies on the freaking table PLEASE! And guess what, it DID scare the hell out of us. Thank God that he didn't have that! Saddly this has not stopped me from hitting WebMD everytime there is a sniffle or strange bump on a member of the household so no worries babe you are not alone!

Brandy said...

Yes I do it all the time. So bad. It's so bad but I can't help myself. I too had a rash that I diagnosed. Needless to say I was WRONG.

I pulled my back one time. While wiping. Yes you heard it here, while wiping. Stevie reminds me of that a few times a month.

Shalee- Be Speechless said...

yeah... I am guilty

I am allergic to all the cleaning chemicals at work so break out in this horrible rash.. I self diagnosed myself. Not to shabby... haha
I did get a little freaked out but its all good. I found what it was and asked around and I am now getting treated haha

Elena said...

LOL!! (Only, sorry to hear that you've got ebola and had a heart attack this weekend.) In my next life I so want to be a Dr. I pretend all the time that I am one. I have several medical books and google is my friend. And you know what, it save my bacon once finding out about all those terrible dieseases. My poor little Halle had scarlet fever when she was a toddler. My hubby laughed in my face when I told him I was taking her in, and then he had to eat his words later. But yes, you can scare yourself to death looking at those things. (Like this last week when I was terrified to find out Carter had some weird adreanal issure b/c his tooth fell out too early. LOL!!) Hope your wii arm gets feeling better. Take 2 ibuprofin and call me in the morning. :)

heathersister said...

HeHe, of course, but I will never tell.

Lula! said...

This is why I'm both thankful and frightened that I live with a physician. They're handy at times, annoying at others. Imagine 2 pregnancies with a doctor in your face at all times...

...yeah, it was fun. Not.

Carrie said...

I am a compulsive self-diagnoser. Is that a word??

amy said...

I was just telling someone the other day, we have too much information at our fingertips! Step AWAY from the google!

mommytoalot said...

LOL...
too funny..
..
didn't look up anything for me..but for the kids skin rashes i have..

Denise said...

Those internet sites are pretty frightening, it you think YOU might have whatever is on the screen.

On Christmas Eve morning I woke up at 4:00 am with a pain in my left side and my left shoulder. I woke up freaking out that I was having a heart attack. I even looked it up online thinking to myself "If I'm having a heart attack what I am I doing Goggling it? Shouldn't I be going to the hospital?" But reason prevailed and I realized I was having muscle spasms from carrying around my 25 lb baby. Then I felt REALLY intelligent.

Britt said...

I love self-diagnosing .. I wanted to be a nurse. And I'm a bit too independent for my own good. But I always get a second opinion before treating my children.

One summer I almost knocked myself out on two seperate occasions while washing my hair. I was just washing my hair, using the little sprayer thing .. and I'm an exuberant hair flipper. And my depth perception blows. And the side of the tub? Not made of memory foam.

Brian and Staci said...

Well, as a matter of fact...last year, Brian was diagnosed with a particular cancer...and we googled it...and just about freaked out. So yes, do not google things like that...just trust your doctor. I have had wii tennis elbow...seriously, it hurt! Happy Monday....I hope your eczema is better real soon! (and I'm glad that's ALL it is!)

Jen said...

you know as a medical professional, the internet and self diagnosis is a pain in my ass. You are right, DON'T EVER SELF DIAGNOSE ON THE INTERNET!

Sorry for the caps, I just feel very strongly about this. :)

Jenny and the Princess Peonies said...

My doctor says that the internet was the worst invention for his profession.

I still go to Web MD sometimes though...

Mama Dawg said...

I did that once and scared the ever living crap out of me.

Never again.

Karen said...

Yeah ... I've been known to google medical things ... and scare myself silly...

Wii arm, huh...

I had Wii arm from being to vigorous with the bowling ball...

Susan said...

All the time. LOL about the hair dryer incident. I have a bruised right side of my nose now from an encounter with my hair straightener this morning. Don't ask.

namaste said...

I'm right there sister. It's amazing what google can tell you! My friends actually come to me with questions because they want to see how quickly I can find a "google" answer to them. What would we do without the internet? lol!

Kristin said...

" And I thought that rather than call a dermatologist. I'd go online and see if I could figure out what it might be" This is a huge NO NO! Never know what you are going to diagnose yourself with.

jennifersusan said...

I totally believe in Wii arm! I, myself, have yoga arm. I'm telling you, when I do left triangle my left shoulder feels like it's disjointed. I try to stay away from WebMD though...self diagnosis without the help of scary internet options is enough to do the trick. ;p

KimmyJ said...

Web MD is my friend. I have Wii arm too - and my rash was shingles once two years ago and it was pure misery. I feel itchy just thinking about it.

KimmyJ said...

Web MD is my friend. I have Wii arm too - and my rash was shingles once two years ago and it was pure misery. I feel itchy just thinking about it.

Swirl Girl said...

I self diagnose ad nauseum.

Internet is both the boon and bane of my existence.

Susie said...

My mom is a walking/talking medical nightmare and so, I am on line all the time.

Nissa said...

You know it! At least your eczema didn't make you wonder if you had Syphilis like mine did.

I can't help looking that stuff up.

I've been convinced I've had Lyme Disease(No effing kidding), Leprosy, appedicitis, and a brain tumor (Okay, I still think I have a brain tumor..it'll be revealed someday), but I cannot stop looking up my symptoms. I'm addicted to hypochondria.

Nissa said...

Oh- and you can have tennis elbow from Wii. Been there- really.

Rhea said...

Um, ok, this is weird, and there must be some mistake...but I'm not on your top contenders list?! WTF?

Mariah said...

I have diagnosed myself way too many times

Rhea said...

Looks who's back on the list, biotches.

Sorry, don't know what got into me.

I have to be top on Kat's list, it's just a MUST.

Oh2122 said...

Dr. Google is not covered by my HMO.

By request of Hubby.

Who threatened to block all things Google repeatedly in the first year of Monkey's life.

Linda said...

It's a NO NO as far as I'm concerned. My son always looks up symptoms. And then he worries. My son in law does the same, and always fears he is dying.(he DID find out that he has a little-as in tiny- extra ass-hole though, but that's for another time)

Me-denial all the way.I'm of the theory that ignorance is bliss. Unless it's about to fall over or there is lots of blood involved, I will be fine. Just fine. Just ask me.

Michelle said...

Ahhh... so glad it posted at the right time ;)

And no, I've learned not to look up symptoms online. Instead, I call my friend Maria. And she's usually right ;)

Jennifer P. said...

the internet always has me convinced I'm going to drop dead any moment!

Hope you're feeling, or uh--looking, better :)

Teri said...

I tend to go in the opposite direction and say that I surely don't have anything wrong. After forcing myself to get an MRI on my head a couple of years ago because of my "really bad headaches" were happening several times a week, I was told that I have (duh) migraines. I swear, I had these "really bad headaches" that would sometimes last for days since I was about 20. Duh.

BUT...I have a sister that gets every single disease that everyone else gets and/or whatever she reads about. I remember the time she was convinced she had pleurisy. Geez.

TuTu's Bliss said...

LOL I diagnose everyone but I am usually right. It isn't because I am so brilliant (I am though. Just take my word for it) but because our Army doctors are usually too busy and underpaid.

Debbie said...

You have outdone yourself in the funny department...oh yes I have looked things up...and I am always wrong...like the time I realized my cramps weren't cancer, but you know, that time of the month cramps. And I, too, have WII ailments. My shoulder and hand hurt right now...too much Enemy Mine on Wii Play...but hey I've gotten to level 14...oh oh oh and I have a platinum medal in the shooting range...yeah...I am addicted ;)