Thursday Thirteen: Independence Day

1996. It was the year I got married. It was the year they found the Unabomber. Bill Clinton began his second term of office. Atlanta held the Centennial Olympics. And the great movie "Independence Day" was released. If I am ever channel surfing and find this movie...I have to stop and watch. Have to.

So...as I was trying to figure out what to do today...I ran across this fabulous site listing all the things that could be learned from the movie "Independence Day." So, I offer many, many thanks to Dean Kanipe for allowing me to plagarize borrow some items from his work of genius:

1. Aliens like to blow up significant land marks first. Apparently the best way to destroy a city is to position your "Death Ray" over the most recognizable building.

2. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you are travelling with a dog and a small child. The Law of Averages says you'll survive the Death Ray.

3. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you are NOT a raspy-voiced homosexual cable TV executive. The Law of Averages says you'll get waxxed by the Death Ray.

4. NASA sends out rejection letters, just like Harvard.

5. A fleet of RVs can travel across the Nevada Test Site in line-abreast formation without the need of roads, thanks to the imense expanses of Salt Flats and the lack of impeding mountains.

6. Area 51 has a big chain-link fence around it, and the guards at the gate wear black combat fatigues with white metal helmets in 120 degree heat.

7. Standard operating procedure for the Air Force is to cluster all vehicles, aircraft, and ground personel on a 200 meter section of tarmac in the middle of an Alien Invasion.

8. Any bonehead with rudimentary aviation experience can be taught to pilot an F-18 in 5 hours.

9. Any bonehead with F-18 flight experience can learn to pilot an Alien fighter in 5 minutes.

10. If you're President and your administration is faltering and an Alien Invasion occurs, relocate the V.P., the Cabinet, and the Joint Chiefs to one centralized location so that the Aliens can take them all out with one shot. You can always blame the problems of the past on them after victory is achieved.

11. In 10 hours, one man with a Macintosh Laptop can code a virus in C++ that will take down a completely alien computer system.

12. Even though the Mac isn't compatible with most other Earthly operating systems, it can interface with an alien computer.

13. Alien network security is nonexistant.

Copyright © 1996, Dean Kanipe, 626 West Club Blvd, Durham, NC 27701. May be reproduced on the internet for personal use only. Any reproduction in print or in any fixed or for-profit medium is not allowed without written permission. Whenever this document is copied, this copyright statement must remain attached.