Herding Cats, part II

A few days ago I was sitting here. In my usual spot. At the kitchen table. Doing what I always do. Creating Latin lesson plans Creating fabulous healthy meals for my family Creating interesting homeschool activities Blogging. Minding my own business. When Katie bounds into the room and asks "HEY! When are you going to interview us again for your blog?" Actually I hadn't even thought about it. And the last time I interviewed them. I had questions handed to me on a silver platter from Rhea. And the results. Well. I believe the words "train wreck" were bandied about.

But evidently I am a sucker good mother. And I emailed Rhea with Katie's request. Naturally, Rhea brought her life to a screeching halt to fulfill the desires of a Georgia 10 year old. Rhea is good like that. But. Rhea's questions came with a request. That Katie send Rhea some questions for her boys to answer. You know. Quid pro quo. I am not sure that Rhea got a good deal. You can see for yourself. The inner workings of Katie's mind. It's not a pretty sight.

And then last night, the girls were ready to sit down. And calmly. Logically. Patiently. Answer Rhea's questions. Well. That is what I was hoping for anyway. This is what happened instead:

What's your favorite meal your mom makes?
K: Grits casserole
M: Grits casserole. No. wait. Punchy hands stew. Next question. Come on.

(So...did you read the last interview with them. If not. Click here. I'll wait. So...how can they remember all those details from the last time? Madalyn has not mentioned Hulk hands. Or punchy hands since July. On the date of the last interview. But it surfaces again. Like Pavlov's dog. If only I could get her to channel this ability for good.)

What do you want for Christmas?
M: Punchy hands
K: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon rescue team. It has a really long name. I like long names.

(Well. From the get-go. It was obvious that I had no control over this interview. That thought was completely cemented as Katie decides that she needs to pull her shirt over her head. And make it look like a hood. As she asks "How do I look?")

Do you want a little brother or sister?
M: I want a little sister. And I want her name to be Sprite. I think she’ll be cute.
K: NO. SHE is more than enough. She’s a little bag of “eat or be eaten.”

(Yeah. Madalyn keeps asking about a sibling. Soooo not gonna happen. And the girls keep trying to see what I am writing. They remember that I wrote down everything that they said. And then just as quickly, Madalyn forgets I am there. Because she tries to get Katie to do her spelling words for the week. All the while speaking as if she is a Pokemon.)

What's your favorite DS game and why?
M: Uh….Cooking Mama. Because I like to cook. And I want to cook when I grow up. (As long as it's not at Chuck E Cheese...)
K: Mine is Pokemon Mystery Dungeon II, Explorers of Time. Umm…because it’s fun to be a pokemon and take the quiz. And love Grovyle. And hate Dusknoir. Getting sucked into the future. Well, I really don’t enjoy that. (Do your children talk like this, too? Where you just look at them and nod your head. As if you know what they are talking about. Or care? Or is it just me?)

(And now things take a turn. Not for the better. When Madalyn starts to complain that Katie keeps taking her toy. Actually, Katie took it and threw it into the family room. So, Katie gets up to get it. Gives it back to Madalyn. And Madalyn throws it back into the family room. Thus starting this bizarre game of fetch. Which reminds me of "Third Rock from the Sun." Did any of ya'll watch that? The kids have become addicted to it lately. I suppose it's better than "Full House." There was the episode on the other night about Dick and company playing with cat toys. It just reminded me. Now that was a true digression. Stream of consciousness. Ramble.)

Who's your favorite superhero and why?
M: Uhhh…I don’t have one. I don’t like watching super hero shows? My hero is my mom. Because she can type. And I like typing people.
K: The creator of Pie. To M: Yours should be Hulk because you like Punchy hands. No. Really I like Iron Man. Because it’s an awesome movie. I like PG-13.

(Iron Man was the first PG-13 movie she saw. And now she thinks she is big stuff. Especially since we have let her watch a rated R movie, too. Regular PG is okay. But, PG-13. That is where it's at.)

What super powers would you like to have?
M: the Power of punchy hands
K: The power to control water. Like Annabelle in my story.

(Katie is writing a story on her blog. I think she has the first four chapters posted.

And Michael interrupts this interview to tell the girls that they have messes to clean up before bed time. And this launches a whole discussion about who made the mess. And threw said mess into Katie’s room.)

Would you rather see Aztec ruins in Mexico, Roman temples in Italy, Stonehenge in England or waterfalls in Hawaii on your next vacation?
M: I want to see the movie “Punchy hands of the deep” in Hawaii
K: (Now Katie starts laughing so hard that tears are rolling down her face. And I just sigh. Because this is my life. The cards that I have been dealt. I think I live in a farce. Or at least with people who think they are performing in one.)

Roman temple stuff in Italy. I want to see things that are not alive. (Ummm...I don't think any of the choices had to do with living things...but okay...)

Which Webkinz animal is your favorite?
M: When will they make a punchy hands webkinz? Or a human webkinz with giant hands. But the deer is cute.
K: yeah the deer is really cute. I don’t have it. But I really want the black cat.

M: will you read us everything that you wrote?

If you had a charm bracelet and could pick three charms today to best represent your personality, which ones would you choose? I would probably choose a camera, a book and a cowboy boot.

(Okay…so as I ask this question to the girls, I say – “pretend you have a charm bracelet” which Madalyn interrpts by sticking out her arm, bending her wrist. And says “How pretty!” Then they both start laughing hysterically. And they run to the bathroom before they pee in their pants. They come back. Sort of composed.)

M: Punch hands; Hulk face; and clovers. (I had to ask: "Why clovers?") Because those represent niceness. I need that to balance out the scary hulk face.
K: the word comedian in giant blue letters. (that is going to be a heavy charm bracelet) Edward Cullen. An Edward charm. Oh, better yet. The real thing. (it’s getting heavier and heavier.)

(And now Katie stops to yell at Madalyn. "Hey…I found a chip next to your chair." And then Katie pulls her shirt down from the neck. And flashes her sister. I don't believe these girls are related to me at all. Rhea - I think we found the aliens. And then just as quickly as the non-sequitur was uttered. And the flash delivered. She was back on task. She did not miss a beat.)

And a music note.

If your kittens turned into aliens and started carrying around toys and climbing furniture...wait, they already do that. I mean, if your kittens started glowing green, what would you do?
K: I’d yell at them to glow blue instead.
M: I’d yell at them. Beat them up a little bit. And then take care of them. And feed them. Can I go pet the kitties?
K: Wait. That’s it?

I believe I hear a fat lady singing.

So...what about you? Who is in charge at your house? Who thinks they are in charge? What items would you put on your charm bracelet? There is still time to enter the contest for all the Twilight goodies...

Theme Song: They Might be Giants - Boss of Me. Uhhh...I am evidently not the boss of this interview. And there were lots of "can you repeat the question?" questions...