Herding Cats, part II

A few days ago I was sitting here. In my usual spot. At the kitchen table. Doing what I always do. Creating Latin lesson plans Creating fabulous healthy meals for my family Creating interesting homeschool activities Blogging. Minding my own business. When Katie bounds into the room and asks "HEY! When are you going to interview us again for your blog?" Actually I hadn't even thought about it. And the last time I interviewed them. I had questions handed to me on a silver platter from Rhea. And the results. Well. I believe the words "train wreck" were bandied about.

But evidently I am a sucker good mother. And I emailed Rhea with Katie's request. Naturally, Rhea brought her life to a screeching halt to fulfill the desires of a Georgia 10 year old. Rhea is good like that. But. Rhea's questions came with a request. That Katie send Rhea some questions for her boys to answer. You know. Quid pro quo. I am not sure that Rhea got a good deal. You can see for yourself. The inner workings of Katie's mind. It's not a pretty sight.

And then last night, the girls were ready to sit down. And calmly. Logically. Patiently. Answer Rhea's questions. Well. That is what I was hoping for anyway. This is what happened instead:

What's your favorite meal your mom makes?
K: Grits casserole
M: Grits casserole. No. wait. Punchy hands stew. Next question. Come on.

(So...did you read the last interview with them. If not. Click here. I'll wait. So...how can they remember all those details from the last time? Madalyn has not mentioned Hulk hands. Or punchy hands since July. On the date of the last interview. But it surfaces again. Like Pavlov's dog. If only I could get her to channel this ability for good.)

What do you want for Christmas?
M: Punchy hands
K: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon rescue team. It has a really long name. I like long names.

(Well. From the get-go. It was obvious that I had no control over this interview. That thought was completely cemented as Katie decides that she needs to pull her shirt over her head. And make it look like a hood. As she asks "How do I look?")

Do you want a little brother or sister?
M: I want a little sister. And I want her name to be Sprite. I think she’ll be cute.
K: NO. SHE is more than enough. She’s a little bag of “eat or be eaten.”

(Yeah. Madalyn keeps asking about a sibling. Soooo not gonna happen. And the girls keep trying to see what I am writing. They remember that I wrote down everything that they said. And then just as quickly, Madalyn forgets I am there. Because she tries to get Katie to do her spelling words for the week. All the while speaking as if she is a Pokemon.)

What's your favorite DS game and why?
M: Uh….Cooking Mama. Because I like to cook. And I want to cook when I grow up. (As long as it's not at Chuck E Cheese...)
K: Mine is Pokemon Mystery Dungeon II, Explorers of Time. Umm…because it’s fun to be a pokemon and take the quiz. And love Grovyle. And hate Dusknoir. Getting sucked into the future. Well, I really don’t enjoy that. (Do your children talk like this, too? Where you just look at them and nod your head. As if you know what they are talking about. Or care? Or is it just me?)

(And now things take a turn. Not for the better. When Madalyn starts to complain that Katie keeps taking her toy. Actually, Katie took it and threw it into the family room. So, Katie gets up to get it. Gives it back to Madalyn. And Madalyn throws it back into the family room. Thus starting this bizarre game of fetch. Which reminds me of "Third Rock from the Sun." Did any of ya'll watch that? The kids have become addicted to it lately. I suppose it's better than "Full House." There was the episode on the other night about Dick and company playing with cat toys. It just reminded me. Now that was a true digression. Stream of consciousness. Ramble.)

Who's your favorite superhero and why?
M: Uhhh…I don’t have one. I don’t like watching super hero shows? My hero is my mom. Because she can type. And I like typing people.
K: The creator of Pie. To M: Yours should be Hulk because you like Punchy hands. No. Really I like Iron Man. Because it’s an awesome movie. I like PG-13.

(Iron Man was the first PG-13 movie she saw. And now she thinks she is big stuff. Especially since we have let her watch a rated R movie, too. Regular PG is okay. But, PG-13. That is where it's at.)

What super powers would you like to have?
M: the Power of punchy hands
K: The power to control water. Like Annabelle in my story.

(Katie is writing a story on her blog. I think she has the first four chapters posted.

And Michael interrupts this interview to tell the girls that they have messes to clean up before bed time. And this launches a whole discussion about who made the mess. And threw said mess into Katie’s room.)

Would you rather see Aztec ruins in Mexico, Roman temples in Italy, Stonehenge in England or waterfalls in Hawaii on your next vacation?
M: I want to see the movie “Punchy hands of the deep” in Hawaii
K: (Now Katie starts laughing so hard that tears are rolling down her face. And I just sigh. Because this is my life. The cards that I have been dealt. I think I live in a farce. Or at least with people who think they are performing in one.)

Roman temple stuff in Italy. I want to see things that are not alive. (Ummm...I don't think any of the choices had to do with living things...but okay...)

Which Webkinz animal is your favorite?
M: When will they make a punchy hands webkinz? Or a human webkinz with giant hands. But the deer is cute.
K: yeah the deer is really cute. I don’t have it. But I really want the black cat.

M: will you read us everything that you wrote?

If you had a charm bracelet and could pick three charms today to best represent your personality, which ones would you choose? I would probably choose a camera, a book and a cowboy boot.

(Okay…so as I ask this question to the girls, I say – “pretend you have a charm bracelet” which Madalyn interrpts by sticking out her arm, bending her wrist. And says “How pretty!” Then they both start laughing hysterically. And they run to the bathroom before they pee in their pants. They come back. Sort of composed.)

M: Punch hands; Hulk face; and clovers. (I had to ask: "Why clovers?") Because those represent niceness. I need that to balance out the scary hulk face.
K: the word comedian in giant blue letters. (that is going to be a heavy charm bracelet) Edward Cullen. An Edward charm. Oh, better yet. The real thing. (it’s getting heavier and heavier.)

(And now Katie stops to yell at Madalyn. "Hey…I found a chip next to your chair." And then Katie pulls her shirt down from the neck. And flashes her sister. I don't believe these girls are related to me at all. Rhea - I think we found the aliens. And then just as quickly as the non-sequitur was uttered. And the flash delivered. She was back on task. She did not miss a beat.)

And a music note.

If your kittens turned into aliens and started carrying around toys and climbing furniture...wait, they already do that. I mean, if your kittens started glowing green, what would you do?
K: I’d yell at them to glow blue instead.
M: I’d yell at them. Beat them up a little bit. And then take care of them. And feed them. Can I go pet the kitties?
K: Wait. That’s it?

I believe I hear a fat lady singing.

So...what about you? Who is in charge at your house? Who thinks they are in charge? What items would you put on your charm bracelet? There is still time to enter the contest for all the Twilight goodies...

Theme Song: They Might be Giants - Boss of Me. Uhhh...I am evidently not the boss of this interview. And there were lots of "can you repeat the question?" questions...

Friday Follies: Tangled Texas

Do you know what today is? Today is the last day to enter the contest. Yes THE contest. For your very own soundtrack to Wicked. And a personalized, autographed copy of Wicked by Gregory Maguire. Yes. Personalized. And then tomorrow is round two of the Weekend Winners. With a whole new set of prizes. And chances to win. (Yep. Chances. This time there will be more than one winner!)

Now that the bidness is out of the way. It's time again for the Friday Follies...and our next guest inquisitor. Rhea from Texas Word Tangle came to my rescue with her offer to interrogate you. Rhea and I go way back. All the way to March. She was my first commenter. She made me stop in my tracks and say "how the heck did you find me??" Though I might not have used such lady like language. Be sure to go say hello to my blog buddy after you answer her Texas themed questions:

Have you ever been to Texas?

If you could buy only cowboy boots or only a cowboy hat, which would you choose?

Have you ever ridden a horse before?

Have you ever been to a rodeo?

If you had to participate in a rodeo, what event would you want to be in?(barrel riding, bull riding, calf scramble, roping, rodeo clown, etc.)

Who's the most famous Texan that comes to mind first?

If you had to move to Texas, which city would you choose?

Who's your favorite Texas blogger in a pink cowboy hat?

Which animal poop is more artistic, cow patties or wild raisins (deer poop)?

Have you ever gone eye-to-eye with a rattlesnake with a mimosa, a cowgirl hat and boots at a bachelorette party in the country? No, wait, I mean, have you ever touched a snake?

If you would like to be a ask the questions one week - just let me know in the comments.

Theme song: Nancy Sinatra - These Boots are Made for Walking

Thursday Thirteen: Which Smutty Book should I pick now?

As we wind down our week of tributes to Rhea of Word Tangle...let's chat about something that Rhea and I have in common. Our love of smutty books. So, here is another post dedicated to her. And today, Rhea...you have to share the dedication. Because today's post is also dedicated to my Aunt Elizabeth. Who sent this in an email to my mom:

A very good friend of mine here in town was looking for a good book list so I directed her to Trina's blog...and then Trina decides to share her smutty side!

Oh, do I ever have a smutty side. As I noted in this post:

It’s painfully obvious that I love to read. I read all the time. I like just about everything. But, I must admit that I am addicted to smutty books. And not your momma’s romance novels…not the Sweet Valley High of your tween years…not the bodice rippers of the 80’s…but the “modern” romance novel. The ones with an edge. The ones that you need to read with a fan and a big glass of cold water. Ice water. The ones that you read and then later your husband might be heard to say “what the hell got into you? How did you learn to do that? And when can we do it again?”

Did you know that when you list your interests on your profile…you can click on those terms and see other people with similar interests? Apparently, I am the only one on blogger that admits to liking smutty books. There are 8 of us with an affinity for trashy books. But…if you were to put sex as one of your interests…you know just for scientific research purposes… there are over 18,000 people who say that is one of their interests. Just sayin’.

And that is what this post is about. Sort of. IF you are here looking for other kinds of books - you can check out my 888 list on the left side bar. You can read this post about books that influenced me the most. Or this one about how to discuss books with your child (and please note that the author commented on my post!). There is also this one about Young Adult books.

My first romance book was "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon. It was recommended by a friend at my book club. I didn't know it was a romance...and actually the book store where I purchased it, had it in the fiction section. It is a great book - historical fiction with a little time travel thrown in - over 800 pages - riveting story - and a tall red-headed Scotsman. So...when I finished it, I had to find the sequel (there are now 6 books in the story with 2 more to come). Now, I looked at a different bookstore for the sequel, and I could not find it on the shelves. When I went to ask about it...they sent me to the Romance section. What?! I dont' read romance! All I could think of was Barbara Cartland bodice rippers. Well...let me tell you, Romance has come a long way since the '80's.

So, if you'd like to dip your toes in the River Smut...may I suggest these authors:

1. The entire "Outlander" series by Diana Gabaldon.

2. Anything by Susan Elizabeth Phillips - but especially her series about the Chicago Stars Football team - the first book in that series is "It Had to be You." Through this author, I discovered that I needed a comic touch to go hand in hand with my romance.

3. Erin McCarthy. She has a Vegas Vampire series - first one is "High Stakes;" other favorites: "Heiress for Hire," "Pregnancy Test," and "Houston, We have a Problem." She also writes young adult books under the name Erin Lynn

4. Julia Quinn's books were my first foray into Regency Romance novels. She has such a fun style - and I would suggest starting with her Bridgerton series (there's 8 of them) - "The Duke and I." (I even got my mom hooked on this series - even though she swears all Romance is drivel.)

5. Julie Garwood. I'm not a fan of her contemporary stories - but her Medieval Scotland books are great: "The Bride," "The Prize," and "Saving Grace" are favorites.

6. Lisa Kleypas is probably one of the best writers in this genre. The first books of hers that I read were the Wallflower series (start with "Secrets of a Summer Night") - but a very hot one is "Dreaming of You."

7. Jacki D'alessandro is an author that is often hit or miss for me. But, you must read "Red Roses mean Love." It is a laugh out loud romp full of crazy secondary characters, a free spirited heroine and an obtuse, yet endearing hero.

8. Rachel Gibson has really fun and quirky characters - snappy dialogue - and of course great steamy romance. I really like the series she just completed about four writer friends - start with "Sex, Lies, and Online Dating."

9. Susan Donovan is another author that makes me laugh. Her books are smart, sexy, and sizzling. Suggestions: "He loves Lucy," "Take a Chance on Me," and "Knock Me off my Feet."

10. JR Ward is a more recent find. It's difficult to categorize her work. Is it urban fantasy or romance? Maybe a little of both. Her series is about vampires - but don't let that dissuade you. I *love* the mythology she has in place for her series. That vamps and humans are different species. You cannot be converted to a vampire with a bite. Vampires eat real food, not just blood. There are rich vampires. Civilian vampires. And warriors. The warriors are the heroes of her books. And delectable they are. The series starts with "Dark Lover" and Ward has just released the 6th - "Lover Enshrined." My favorite is the third in the series "Lover Awakened."

11. Suzanne Enoch is another Regency author that I love with her fast paced stories and strong wit. My favorite book of hers is the third in the "Lessons in Love" series (The Rake, London's perfect scoundrel, and England's perfect Hero.) She also has a great contemporary romantic suspense series centering around a cat burglar as the heroine - "Flirting with Danger" is the first.

12. Jennifer Cruise - I haven't liked some of her more recent titles - but you must read "Welcome to Temptation" which is hilarious - and "Bet Me" which is one of my top five romance books ever.

13. Maya Banks is the queen of the menage. And plot is overrated. Check out: "Colters' Woman" (Rhea...this one is on it's way to you), "Overheard," "Brazen," and "For her Pleasure."

Interviewing children is like herding cats

We are home. There is no longer a beach view from the kitchen. There is no more pajama swimming. Or feeding frenzies. I have reality. Which includes unpacking. An empty fridge. And a consignment sale to get ready for. So, I thought I'd blog.

Before we went on vacation, my friend Rhea over at Texas Word Tangle came up with a million and one ideas for me to blog about. Because I am always trying to figure out what to blog about. So...Rhea, thank you very much. This ENTIRE week of random drivel is dedicated to you! AND...at the end of the week...there will be a fabulous contest and give away.

One of the things that Rhea does so well is to interview her children. I tried to copy her a few months ago. But my children are rather uncooperative. Until Katie actually read one of Rhea's interviews...and then she wanted to do it.

So...Rhea came up with these questions for my girls. And she was thinking about them while drifting off to sleep. Just like any good blog stalker would.

So...we are sitting here at the kitchen table. I have my computer open in front of me...and I tell the girls that I am going to interview them for my blog. And then I am assaulted with questions: "Are you going to go in the computer and pretend your are Oprah?" "Are you going to do this at the same time?" "Can my color be blue?" "Are you going to start?" "I don't like pickles!"

See...you can tell that Katie has read Rhea's blog. And she knows that everyone is assigned a color. Katie will be blue. Madalyn will be purple. And my editorial comments will be black.

What's your favorite movie?
Probably either High School Musical or Iron Man. Or wait. Get Smart.
Hmmm...either Pokemon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea. Or Get Smart. (So then Katie brings to her attention that she went to the bathroom 37 times during the movie because she was scared. Madalyn says she liked some of it. And just so you know, this is *not* a scary movie. Anything with guns makes her scared. She kept asking me if he was going to die. And I kept repeating "this is a *funny* movie.)

Hey chief - is it Katie's turn for a question? (Since when am I chief? I have lost control of this interview already!)

What's your favorite outfit or item of clothing in your closet?
Do you mean shirt? Or favorite? Let me repeat the question: What is your favorite outfit or item of clothing in your closet? Okay. Ummm. Can I go and look in my closet? I have a big closet. I am going to the closet right now.

It's time for a short intermission. Let's whistle along with Monty Python..."always look on the bright side of life..."

I like everything except that orangy outfit you got me. Or that cherry shirt. It's horribly ugly. If I have to choose one: the cute green tank top or my new Alamo shirt.

I love the dessert we had yesterday. Can we eat that every day?
Umm...
Hey are you going to ask me yet? Mine is my Dolphin shirt we got on the cruise.

If you could dye your hair any color, what would you choose?

Can you ask me first? I would dye my hair green. Why? I don't know. It's a good color. (Not sure why she needed to answer first. But there you go.)
I don't like all the streaks of blonde in my hair so I'd dye them blue. Why? (Oh...and please insert sassy "duh" type response to) Cause blue is my favorite color. (I wonder if she knows that lots of women pay big bucks to have those streaks of blonde put into their hair?)

Katie, can you go a whole day without saying ummm? I don't think anybody can.

What's your favorite thing to do with your mom? (Katie gives me a look like I've just told her I burned all her high school musical shirts. She ponders. And keeps giving me glances.)
Going to the movies. (See - she's not traumatized by me "forcing" her to watch "Get Smart!")
Ummm. Just talking with you. I guess. (Ahhh...I'm feelin' the love)

What's your favorite thing to do with your dad?

"Thinking. Thinking. Thinking." Going to the park.

Ummm...

"Eat or be eaten"

And now...they realize that I have actually written down all the randomness that is Madalyn. And they are in hysterics. I wonder if I will ever get them back under control.

What's your favorite thing to do with your grandmother?

Going shopping. Helping her pick out perfume.

Just talking. I enjoy talking. (shocker!)

If a boy you liked gave you a gift, which gift would you like to receive from him?

A. a stuffed animal

B. a beaded bracelet

C. a mix CD he made himself for you

I'd like a CD. What kind of music would it be? Music that I like. (time to insert your own sarcasm. Do you think the boy will intuitively know what kind of music she likes?)

A stuffed animal. Or Hulk hands. Okay. Why? Cause I wanna punch people. (She watches way too much tv. And infomercials. Madalyn even wrote down the phone number to order Mighty Putty if anyone needs it. Now she's getting punchy. No hope anymore...)

If you saw an alien swimming in the pool tomorrow morning when you woke up, what would do? or say to it?

I'd scream and run. (I got a demonstration, by the way. I think it'll take a few days for my ears to recover.) I'd punch it with my hulk hands.

If I handed you a $100 dollar bill and told you to go spend it however you wanted, what would you spend it on?

I'd buy a toilet. (Peals of laughter.) Another giant fist. Is there such thing as a boyfriend store? (See, Rhea...this is why the interviews don't work!) I'm going to channel my logical self...and put it in the bank. Oh...wait...how much does a wii cost?

So...again...thank you very much to Rhea for her fantabulous questions. And I apologize for the interviewees.