Herding Cats, part II

A few days ago I was sitting here. In my usual spot. At the kitchen table. Doing what I always do. Creating Latin lesson plans Creating fabulous healthy meals for my family Creating interesting homeschool activities Blogging. Minding my own business. When Katie bounds into the room and asks "HEY! When are you going to interview us again for your blog?" Actually I hadn't even thought about it. And the last time I interviewed them. I had questions handed to me on a silver platter from Rhea. And the results. Well. I believe the words "train wreck" were bandied about.

But evidently I am a sucker good mother. And I emailed Rhea with Katie's request. Naturally, Rhea brought her life to a screeching halt to fulfill the desires of a Georgia 10 year old. Rhea is good like that. But. Rhea's questions came with a request. That Katie send Rhea some questions for her boys to answer. You know. Quid pro quo. I am not sure that Rhea got a good deal. You can see for yourself. The inner workings of Katie's mind. It's not a pretty sight.

And then last night, the girls were ready to sit down. And calmly. Logically. Patiently. Answer Rhea's questions. Well. That is what I was hoping for anyway. This is what happened instead:

What's your favorite meal your mom makes?
K: Grits casserole
M: Grits casserole. No. wait. Punchy hands stew. Next question. Come on.

(So...did you read the last interview with them. If not. Click here. I'll wait. So...how can they remember all those details from the last time? Madalyn has not mentioned Hulk hands. Or punchy hands since July. On the date of the last interview. But it surfaces again. Like Pavlov's dog. If only I could get her to channel this ability for good.)

What do you want for Christmas?
M: Punchy hands
K: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon rescue team. It has a really long name. I like long names.

(Well. From the get-go. It was obvious that I had no control over this interview. That thought was completely cemented as Katie decides that she needs to pull her shirt over her head. And make it look like a hood. As she asks "How do I look?")

Do you want a little brother or sister?
M: I want a little sister. And I want her name to be Sprite. I think she’ll be cute.
K: NO. SHE is more than enough. She’s a little bag of “eat or be eaten.”

(Yeah. Madalyn keeps asking about a sibling. Soooo not gonna happen. And the girls keep trying to see what I am writing. They remember that I wrote down everything that they said. And then just as quickly, Madalyn forgets I am there. Because she tries to get Katie to do her spelling words for the week. All the while speaking as if she is a Pokemon.)

What's your favorite DS game and why?
M: Uh….Cooking Mama. Because I like to cook. And I want to cook when I grow up. (As long as it's not at Chuck E Cheese...)
K: Mine is Pokemon Mystery Dungeon II, Explorers of Time. Umm…because it’s fun to be a pokemon and take the quiz. And love Grovyle. And hate Dusknoir. Getting sucked into the future. Well, I really don’t enjoy that. (Do your children talk like this, too? Where you just look at them and nod your head. As if you know what they are talking about. Or care? Or is it just me?)

(And now things take a turn. Not for the better. When Madalyn starts to complain that Katie keeps taking her toy. Actually, Katie took it and threw it into the family room. So, Katie gets up to get it. Gives it back to Madalyn. And Madalyn throws it back into the family room. Thus starting this bizarre game of fetch. Which reminds me of "Third Rock from the Sun." Did any of ya'll watch that? The kids have become addicted to it lately. I suppose it's better than "Full House." There was the episode on the other night about Dick and company playing with cat toys. It just reminded me. Now that was a true digression. Stream of consciousness. Ramble.)

Who's your favorite superhero and why?
M: Uhhh…I don’t have one. I don’t like watching super hero shows? My hero is my mom. Because she can type. And I like typing people.
K: The creator of Pie. To M: Yours should be Hulk because you like Punchy hands. No. Really I like Iron Man. Because it’s an awesome movie. I like PG-13.

(Iron Man was the first PG-13 movie she saw. And now she thinks she is big stuff. Especially since we have let her watch a rated R movie, too. Regular PG is okay. But, PG-13. That is where it's at.)

What super powers would you like to have?
M: the Power of punchy hands
K: The power to control water. Like Annabelle in my story.

(Katie is writing a story on her blog. I think she has the first four chapters posted.

And Michael interrupts this interview to tell the girls that they have messes to clean up before bed time. And this launches a whole discussion about who made the mess. And threw said mess into Katie’s room.)

Would you rather see Aztec ruins in Mexico, Roman temples in Italy, Stonehenge in England or waterfalls in Hawaii on your next vacation?
M: I want to see the movie “Punchy hands of the deep” in Hawaii
K: (Now Katie starts laughing so hard that tears are rolling down her face. And I just sigh. Because this is my life. The cards that I have been dealt. I think I live in a farce. Or at least with people who think they are performing in one.)

Roman temple stuff in Italy. I want to see things that are not alive. (Ummm...I don't think any of the choices had to do with living things...but okay...)

Which Webkinz animal is your favorite?
M: When will they make a punchy hands webkinz? Or a human webkinz with giant hands. But the deer is cute.
K: yeah the deer is really cute. I don’t have it. But I really want the black cat.

M: will you read us everything that you wrote?

If you had a charm bracelet and could pick three charms today to best represent your personality, which ones would you choose? I would probably choose a camera, a book and a cowboy boot.

(Okay…so as I ask this question to the girls, I say – “pretend you have a charm bracelet” which Madalyn interrpts by sticking out her arm, bending her wrist. And says “How pretty!” Then they both start laughing hysterically. And they run to the bathroom before they pee in their pants. They come back. Sort of composed.)

M: Punch hands; Hulk face; and clovers. (I had to ask: "Why clovers?") Because those represent niceness. I need that to balance out the scary hulk face.
K: the word comedian in giant blue letters. (that is going to be a heavy charm bracelet) Edward Cullen. An Edward charm. Oh, better yet. The real thing. (it’s getting heavier and heavier.)

(And now Katie stops to yell at Madalyn. "Hey…I found a chip next to your chair." And then Katie pulls her shirt down from the neck. And flashes her sister. I don't believe these girls are related to me at all. Rhea - I think we found the aliens. And then just as quickly as the non-sequitur was uttered. And the flash delivered. She was back on task. She did not miss a beat.)

And a music note.

If your kittens turned into aliens and started carrying around toys and climbing furniture...wait, they already do that. I mean, if your kittens started glowing green, what would you do?
K: I’d yell at them to glow blue instead.
M: I’d yell at them. Beat them up a little bit. And then take care of them. And feed them. Can I go pet the kitties?
K: Wait. That’s it?

I believe I hear a fat lady singing.

So...what about you? Who is in charge at your house? Who thinks they are in charge? What items would you put on your charm bracelet? There is still time to enter the contest for all the Twilight goodies...

Theme Song: They Might be Giants - Boss of Me. Uhhh...I am evidently not the boss of this interview. And there were lots of "can you repeat the question?" questions...

What's the frequency, Kenneth, Part trois

Who knew, that a month after the initial request, I'd finally finish answering your questions? And who knew that I could stretch it out into three posts of blog fodder?

Jennifer P from The Peterson’s Go Public wants to know: what was your favorite Halloween costume ever? And along those same lines, Shannon of Welcome to the Nut House asks: What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid?

You know…I really don’t remember many of my costumes growing up. I know I was a gypsy one year. A ballerina. An Indian. Maybe even a cowgirl. But as far as stories go…this is my favorite costume.This was the year I decided to be the Wicked Witch of the West. Don't you love the plastic skirt? And matching cape?

Now, back in the olden days. Like when I was eight. You wore a plastic mask. (I even found pictures of me as a ballerina – but I still had a little girl mask to wear with it!)

Well, evidently, in the year of the witch, I complained to my mom that it was too hot to wear a mask. So, my mother had a brilliant idea. I would wear make-up. Instead of a mask. Brilliant, no?

Except that Mom's brilliant idea was to mix green food coloring with her foundation make up. And then paint my face with it.

Take a minute to let that "soak" in. She painted my face with green food coloring. Yep. She did that. Today she tells me that I insisted. I know I always listen to my eight year old.

The make up took about 10 days to wear off. And you know what? It all makes sense now. Now, I know why I love “Wicked.” I understand Elphaba. Because I, too. Have been green.That same year, my younger brother was Dr. Spock from Star Trek. But this was how he preferred to wear his costume.

(You don't think he'll get mad at me for posting this do you? I mean. I gave him a really big fig leaf.)

The most creative costume I have seen is one by our friend Mark. Do you remember when Roy of Siegfried and Roy was mauled by a tiger? Well…Halloween followed quickly on the heels of that event. And Mark wore a “tux” of sorts. And attached a white tiger to his arm. And had “blood” dripping from his neck all down his costume. I love topical costumes.And this is my favorite picture of my girls at Halloween. Not necessarily my favorite costume…but they look so sweet. And calm. And I captured it on film. It was a fleeting moment. So…what about you? When was the last time you went to a costume party? Do you have a favorite Halloween costume? What are your kids dressing up as tomorrow? Have you said "Happy Birthday" to my Mom today?

PS--Guess what? Starting on Saturday, I am going to have TEN WEEKS of weekend give aways! Yes. I said TEN WEEKS of give aways. And the first giveaway is one of my very favorite things...

What's the Frequency, Kenneth - part deux

What is that saying – “okay enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?”

I answered the first set of questions on Tuesday. You might have missed it. The cacophony of crickets chirping might have made it so you couldn’t concentrate on my bits of brilliance. Anyway…here are the rest of the questions posed by you. My loyal readers. My fan club. My personal quorum of stalkers…

My best friend Cindy Sue. My friend I visited in San Antonio. My co-conspirator. My partner in crime. Who doesn’t blog. But she should. Asks:
Do you like the edges, corner, or middle of a brownie batch?
Yes, please. But if you are going to force me to choose – I like the edge. I like that little bit of crunch.
Do you know anyone who has ever attended a bridesmaid's luncheon while wearing a hat?
So, I guess I have to come clean. A while ago, I did a post about things that I had never done. And one of those things was that I had never worn a hat. After I published, it was just a few hours before I got a call.
Cindy Sue: (With no preamble. No Hello. Nothing.) How much are you worth?
Me: Ummm…hardly anything.
Cindy Sue: Well…let me know when you are worth something. Because I am ready to bribe you.
Me: What?!
Cindy Sue: I just so happen to have a picture of a certain someone. At a bridal shower. Wearing a hat.
Me: Was I drunk? I have no memory of this at all.
Cindy Sue: I have the evidence. The proof. The beginning of your demise. Bwahhahahahahah…
Don’t you love best friends?

Insane Mama formerly of Help I have a Teenager. Now in hiding. Asks: What is your smuttiest book?
Oh, that’s an easy one. Colters’ Woman by Maya Banks. I think it’s illegal in 24 states.

The Sits girls want to know: If you had a son, what would you have named him?
When I was pregnant with Madalyn we were all convinced that she was a boy. I have no idea as to why. Perhaps because Katie insisted. And we just went with it. Until we had the ultra sound where it was quite obvious there was a girl in there. But if she was a boy, we were going to name him Jakob Dylan. I have this thing for spelling things a little off.

Lula asks:
Are you going to be super-psycho-involved when Lost returns in 134 days? Because I will be...and I need to gather my obsessive peeps around me at that time.
I am always super psycho involved in LOST. Are ya’ll watchin’ LOST? You have time. Netflix the first seasons and get caught up. Just over one hundred days before it starts again. I like to watch LOST a few days after it comes on. I know…it’s strange. But I like to wait. Because, if I wait, then all the theories and little details are posted on Lostpedia. And I hate to not know what I just saw! It’s a rare event that I’ll actually catch something.

Last year I managed to catch the stuff about Daniel Faraday – but only because we were actually studying about Faraday in Physics at the time. And I did catch that Charlotte was an homage to CS Lewis. But usually, I need to read to get all the little details. I don’t know how everyone catches those things! I love LOST!

Oh, I have another--but it's for Michael: What's your favorite imported beer? Domestic?
When Lula posted this query, Michael saw it in the comments section. Yes, my husband reads my blog and my comments. Yet he’s only commented twice. Once on the meme about googling your name plus the word needs. And secondly about euphemisms. But…when he saw this question…he wrote a dissertation. Just for Lula. All about his snobby beer favorites. I can’t recall what he said.

KimmyJ of the Cottage Cafe wants to know: What is your favortie book of all time?

I keep going on and on about this book. I read “Wicked” when it first came out in 1995 or was it 1996? And after I finished it…I just wasn’t sure as to what to think. I would pivot from loving it to hating it. And even five years after I read it…I still wavered. I read everything else that he wrote. (Do ya’ll do that? When you read a book that you like – do you go and read everything else that an author writes? Did you know that there is actually a word for that?? It’s called glomming.) But then on the 10th anniversary, my book club decided to read it…at the same time the sequel was released – “Son of a Witch.” On my second reading…the whole thing really clicked for me. And I LOVED it. There are so many levels to it. And I just love the way he takes a story we all know and then turns it on it’s head. And just a few weeks ago, the third book was released “A Lion Among Men.”

Lizzy from Journey to the Hot Tub asks: What are you doing Sunday afternoon?
Well…this was asked a month ago. As my first hint that Lizzy was coming to town. But for this week – Sunday I am hoping that I will have remembered to “fall back” on my clocks. Now, Saturday should be the day you are asking about. There is another blog summit. Wonder who I’ll be meeting this time??

Shannon from Welcome to the Nut House can't wait to find out: What are your favorite pizza toppings?
My mom loves pizza. She could eat it every day. Me…well, once a month is good for me. I like Pizza Hut. Pan pizza. With ham, beef, and mushrooms. Very little tomato sauce. Basically a glorified cheese toast. And I like the pizza I make, too. I make a white pizza. With alfredo sauce. Sauted garlic and mushrooms. Chicken. And mozzarella of course. Delish.

What do you think is your best feature?
My brain? Probably my hair. When Michael and were dating…I was the first one to say “I love you.” He wasn’t quite there yet. So he responded with “I love your hair.” Warmed the cockles of my heart. But…I do have good hair. Long. Thick. And curly. All thanks to pregnancy hormones. And then someone told me something awful. That when I hit menopause, my hair will go back to the way it was. Thin. Straight. And stringy. Getting old sucks.

Do you have any phobias? What are they?
No, I don’t think that I do. I asked my mom…and she says I must have a phobia about making my bed.

What is your favorite day of the week and why?
The days the housekeeper comes. Hands down. Amen.

I have two more questions to answer. And they are about Halloween - so I'll publish those on Thursday. Really. This Thursday. Without procrastination.

So…what about you? Pick one or two or three or ten of these questions – and tell me how you would have answered them.

It's supposed to be REM - What's the Frequency, Kenneth - but playlist is down. So, you'll have to hum it to yourself. Or just go with Snow Patrol. That might be easier...

What's the Frequency, Kenneth?

"Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement." Ronald Reagan

Tomorrow it will be a month. An entire month. I am a great procrastinator. A month ago, I asked you to ask me questions. To provide me with a bit of blog fodder. I am sure that you have been on the edge of your chair. Pressing refresh on your page. Stalking my blog. Re-reading posts to see if you might have missed the big event. And just waiting for your questions to be answered. E-hem. It takes one to know one.

I actually answered a few of your questions at the beginning of the month. Click here if you had a homeschool question. Or if you are curious about my homeschooling answers. Go ahead. I’ll wait. You might want a jolt of caffeine before you leave.

So…these were your burning questions:

Angie from Angie’s Spot says that she has two questions. Even though she gave me a numbered list of four.

1. Did you grow up in GA? If so, would you ever want to live somewhere else? If not, what was your next favorite place to live?

I was born in Florida. And I have lived in Georgia since I was 7. I have ALWAYS wanted to live somewhere else. I wanted to be an exchange student to Brazil when I was in high school. I wanted to go to college out of state. I applied for jobs in other states. I tried to get my husband to apply for transfers at his job. I have a serious case of wanderlust.

But…it appears that I am meant to be here. And I am trying so hard to live by the adage of “blooming where I am planted.” So…I like to live vicariously through all of you.

2. Are you going to go back to school for your PhD? And what would it be in?

I am not planning to go back to school. My brain cells have left the building. But if some how they magically regenerate. I would finish up with what I started - and that is in Anthropology.

3. How did you and hubby meet?

I so wish I had a story to tell. But, mine is pretty simple. I met him in a …wait for it…wait for it...I met him at a bar. I didn’t like him much. He wasn’t my type at all. And I was actually dating someone at the time. But, the guy I was dating – well, he made me mad. And in retaliation, I called up Michael. I tend to be impulsive like that. This time it worked out rather well.

4. If you were sent to a desert island for a month, what 3 things would you bring with you?

Am I willingly going? Or will I be shipwrecked there? Will I have a hut? With a bed? And high thread count sheets? Food? Wi-fi? Or are we talking Survivor (where I would not survive) and I have three “luxury” items to bring? I guess that three basic things I would want there would be food, sunscreen, and all the books I could read.

From Rhea at Texas Word Tangle (who is giving away jambalaya today on her blog!):

If you had to constantly carry a weapon of some kind, what would it be?
My brain. It the only thing that I might be able to use properly.

If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?
I don’t know. Something big. And heavy. Because while the stock market is tanking…gold’s up.

If you could suddenly find out that one work of fiction was actually true, what book would you select?
Harry Potter. Maybe someone could sneak me into Diagon Alley.

Tiffany from Sprinklings of Fairy Dusts asks:

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Just one thing? My metabolism.

Did you create your own blogicon?
You can see it? I can only see it when I remember to use Firefox instead of Explorer. And no, I did not create it. I am not that savvy. Darcy over at Graphically Designing made it. She is my fairy blogmother.

Elena from Manwaring Moments wants to know:
What in the world is twittering? I see it everywhere, but don't get it.

Ah…twitter. I love twittering. It’s a site – and it simply asks you “what are you doing?” And you have to answer the question in 140 characters or less. I love it. It’s fun. Painless. And NOT a time suck. Click here and you can sign up and follow me on twitter.

So here's another, (but still answer my first b/c I really want to know). Are you a neat freak or a bit sloppy?
Somewhere in between. I like things neat. I despise clutter. I don’t like tchochkes. These things tend to get me into trouble. Because I purge. And then can never find what I need. On the sloppy side, I am not a fan of making my bed. And I procrastinate putting away the laundry.

That's it for this edition. There were more questions asked. Which I'll answer Thursday. Maybe this Thursday. Perhaps a Thursday of another week. Or month. Hello. My name is Kat. And I am procrastinator.

So...what about you? Are you good at coming up with interview questions? Have you ever interviewed anyone? Who is your favorite tv/radio/blog interviewer?

Theme song: REM -- What's the Frequency, Kenneth? Because it's about a surreal event that happened to Dan Rather. And it seems to fit.

Interviewing children is like herding cats

We are home. There is no longer a beach view from the kitchen. There is no more pajama swimming. Or feeding frenzies. I have reality. Which includes unpacking. An empty fridge. And a consignment sale to get ready for. So, I thought I'd blog.

Before we went on vacation, my friend Rhea over at Texas Word Tangle came up with a million and one ideas for me to blog about. Because I am always trying to figure out what to blog about. So...Rhea, thank you very much. This ENTIRE week of random drivel is dedicated to you! AND...at the end of the week...there will be a fabulous contest and give away.

One of the things that Rhea does so well is to interview her children. I tried to copy her a few months ago. But my children are rather uncooperative. Until Katie actually read one of Rhea's interviews...and then she wanted to do it.

So...Rhea came up with these questions for my girls. And she was thinking about them while drifting off to sleep. Just like any good blog stalker would.

So...we are sitting here at the kitchen table. I have my computer open in front of me...and I tell the girls that I am going to interview them for my blog. And then I am assaulted with questions: "Are you going to go in the computer and pretend your are Oprah?" "Are you going to do this at the same time?" "Can my color be blue?" "Are you going to start?" "I don't like pickles!"

See...you can tell that Katie has read Rhea's blog. And she knows that everyone is assigned a color. Katie will be blue. Madalyn will be purple. And my editorial comments will be black.

What's your favorite movie?
Probably either High School Musical or Iron Man. Or wait. Get Smart.
Hmmm...either Pokemon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea. Or Get Smart. (So then Katie brings to her attention that she went to the bathroom 37 times during the movie because she was scared. Madalyn says she liked some of it. And just so you know, this is *not* a scary movie. Anything with guns makes her scared. She kept asking me if he was going to die. And I kept repeating "this is a *funny* movie.)

Hey chief - is it Katie's turn for a question? (Since when am I chief? I have lost control of this interview already!)

What's your favorite outfit or item of clothing in your closet?
Do you mean shirt? Or favorite? Let me repeat the question: What is your favorite outfit or item of clothing in your closet? Okay. Ummm. Can I go and look in my closet? I have a big closet. I am going to the closet right now.

It's time for a short intermission. Let's whistle along with Monty Python..."always look on the bright side of life..."

I like everything except that orangy outfit you got me. Or that cherry shirt. It's horribly ugly. If I have to choose one: the cute green tank top or my new Alamo shirt.

I love the dessert we had yesterday. Can we eat that every day?
Umm...
Hey are you going to ask me yet? Mine is my Dolphin shirt we got on the cruise.

If you could dye your hair any color, what would you choose?

Can you ask me first? I would dye my hair green. Why? I don't know. It's a good color. (Not sure why she needed to answer first. But there you go.)
I don't like all the streaks of blonde in my hair so I'd dye them blue. Why? (Oh...and please insert sassy "duh" type response to) Cause blue is my favorite color. (I wonder if she knows that lots of women pay big bucks to have those streaks of blonde put into their hair?)

Katie, can you go a whole day without saying ummm? I don't think anybody can.

What's your favorite thing to do with your mom? (Katie gives me a look like I've just told her I burned all her high school musical shirts. She ponders. And keeps giving me glances.)
Going to the movies. (See - she's not traumatized by me "forcing" her to watch "Get Smart!")
Ummm. Just talking with you. I guess. (Ahhh...I'm feelin' the love)

What's your favorite thing to do with your dad?

"Thinking. Thinking. Thinking." Going to the park.

Ummm...

"Eat or be eaten"

And now...they realize that I have actually written down all the randomness that is Madalyn. And they are in hysterics. I wonder if I will ever get them back under control.

What's your favorite thing to do with your grandmother?

Going shopping. Helping her pick out perfume.

Just talking. I enjoy talking. (shocker!)

If a boy you liked gave you a gift, which gift would you like to receive from him?

A. a stuffed animal

B. a beaded bracelet

C. a mix CD he made himself for you

I'd like a CD. What kind of music would it be? Music that I like. (time to insert your own sarcasm. Do you think the boy will intuitively know what kind of music she likes?)

A stuffed animal. Or Hulk hands. Okay. Why? Cause I wanna punch people. (She watches way too much tv. And infomercials. Madalyn even wrote down the phone number to order Mighty Putty if anyone needs it. Now she's getting punchy. No hope anymore...)

If you saw an alien swimming in the pool tomorrow morning when you woke up, what would do? or say to it?

I'd scream and run. (I got a demonstration, by the way. I think it'll take a few days for my ears to recover.) I'd punch it with my hulk hands.

If I handed you a $100 dollar bill and told you to go spend it however you wanted, what would you spend it on?

I'd buy a toilet. (Peals of laughter.) Another giant fist. Is there such thing as a boyfriend store? (See, Rhea...this is why the interviews don't work!) I'm going to channel my logical self...and put it in the bank. Oh...wait...how much does a wii cost?

So...again...thank you very much to Rhea for her fantabulous questions. And I apologize for the interviewees.