Sunday, May 11, 2008

25 Things I learned from Mom

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION . 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC . ' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA . 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY . 'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . 'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . 'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY . 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . 'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE . 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP . 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR . 'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up...'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS . 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM . 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

(author: unknown)

Happy Mother's Day to all! Love Ya, Mom!!

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Rhea said...

ROFL that was so funny, Kat! Absolutely HILARIOUS!! I loved it!

Happy Mother's Day!!

The Joye of Teaching said...

This was great! Many of your things had me laughing and nodding! Happy Mother's Day

Debbie said...

Kat, Kat, Kat. That is my absolute, hands down favorite post of yours ever. That was HILARIOUS! I am still laughing as I type so funny. Have a great Mother's Day!

Lisa~ said...

Wanted to come and wish you a very happy mothers day! Hope you are enjoying your peeps and relaxing...

Great song!


Skeller said...

hehe. I especially liked #1. I might have to use that today.... ;-)

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

The thing I say to my own kids a lot is to stop doing whatever dangerous thing they are doing "because I don't have time to go to the hospital today."

Hope you all had a great Mother's Day!

Firefly Mom said...

Kat, what a great post! I hate to admit how many of those I've said myself (crap, I'm becoming my mother!)

Happy belated Mother's Day!

Nicole said...

That was awesome! =)

I think my own mother (and if not, then my grandmother) said all of those things to me as well!

Thanks for putting it all down in one place!!!!!

Jules said...

That was so funny! I came across this about 5 years ago. I thought is was hilarious then and I'm so glad you put it up now. It made my day!